I've Got the Strangest Feeling This Isn't Our First Time Around

58

"Well?" Snoozemore asks Luigi as they're led through the mansion. "Anything popping out?"

"Everything is." Luigi confirms. "This is it."

They walk out to the balcony, where two Bob-ombs are waiting.

"Hello." The golden mustached Bob-Omb speaks. "Sorry for the wait."

"Mm, yes. Agent Snoozemore." He pulls out his badge. "I'm here on behalf of the PHPD."

"Who are they?" The gray Bob-Omb asks, nodding at Mario and Luigi.

Mario looks panicked, "Uh—"

"Rookies." Luigi answers for them. "First assignment."

"Goldbob and Sylvia, my deepest condolences." Snoozemore moves right along. "But there's something you need to know. A young female Toad, with brown hair and green spots, was found petrified in the sewers."

Sylvia gasps, "Someone was attacked here? That's awful. How can we be of assistance?"

"We have reason to believe this is where she lived." Snoozemore explains.

"No it is not." Goldbob says immediately.

"No children?"

"One, but it's our son, and also a Bob-Omb, not a Toad." Goldbob informs them.

"Where were you two on the night of the Star Festival?" Luigi says suddenly, making both Snoozemore and Mario look at him.

"Who asked you?" Goldbob snaps.

"We were able to place the victim here the night of the Star Festival." Snoozemore explains.

"Not here." Sylvia supplies. "We went to Shooting Star Summit for the best view."

"So the Toad might've known you two weren't gonna be here?" Mario theorizes.

"Trust me, someone on our staff would've alerted us, or if not them, our alarm system." Sylvia insists.

"Unless it was someone on your staff, who would know all your codes to disable the alarm." Luigi points out.

"I don't like what you're implying." Goldbob says. "I would know if someone was trespassing on my property."

"Then we clearly made a mistake." Snoozemore says apologetically, but that's not good enough for Luigi. "No we didn't. Same hallway, same furniture, same paintings. They're just like I saw--"

"Pardon me?" Sylvia demands. "What do you mean just like you saw?"

"The magazine spread!" Mario says quickly. "The one in Opulent Living."

That seems to satisfy her, but not so much Luigi. "What's going on here?" he demands.

"Luigi, stop it." Snoozemore warns.

"Now I really don't like your tone." Sylvia snaps. "Any further questions you have for either of us, you can direct them to our lawyer. This investigation is finished."

"Mm, yes. We were just leaving." Snoozemore agrees.

"But--" Luigi tries to protest, but Snoozemore won't let him, "Enough."

And so they all promptly leave, but Mario can't help but apologize, lying, "Sorry, he only got in because he's a trust fund baby. We all want him gone.", then rushes to catch up with Luigi and Snoozemore.

"Is that what you call erring on the side of caution?" Snoozemore scolds once they're by the pipe to the sewers.

"Told ya he should've just gone home." Mario jokes.

"The dreams don't lie." Luigi insists.

"But the Toad who dreamt them isn't here, is she? So how are we supposed to explain how we know what she saw?"

"I know I'm right." Luigi is nothing if not stubborn.

"Mm, no, you don't." Snoozemore says. "Innocent until proven guilty."

"Luigi's always been good at picking up on clues from the dreams to uncover the truth." Mario defends him. "Even if he doesn't know it yet, he's not gonna drop this until he does."

That makes Luigi pause for a good few seconds, touched.

"Back to the lab. Now." Snoozemore refuses to be swayed.

"Any luck with the mansion?" Pauline asks Mario and Luigi when they finally reappear.

"Unfortunately no. They've never heard of anyone matching our Toad's description." Mario says regretfully.

"I have now." Pauline tells them, surprising Luigi. "You found her?"

"Only things found around where her petrified body were her keys." She holds them up. "And this."

Mario takes it to get a closer look.

"A bow?" Luigi's not impressed.

"Ah, a Chain Chomp bow." Pauline says, taking it back. "You said you saw a Chomp in the Toad's dreams? Well, if she had this on her, it would make sense she had the Chain Chomp on her too at some point. So I did some digging around, and we have another lead: the animal shelter." She pulls up a window on her computer. "Say hello to Sweetie Pie."

Both Pauline and Mario gush for a moment, making Luigi roll his eyes.

"She was found hopping around, so they dropped her off."

Luigi says, "She was barking like crazy in the Toad's dreams."

"Luckily Poshley Heights has strict restrictions requiring all Chomps to be thoroughly vetted, vaccinated, and have an ID." Pauline tells them. "Owner's name is Toadia."

"Nice." Mario compliments.

"All thanks to a cute little Chain Chomp." Pauline says, getting misty eyed. "So misunderstood, I wound up applying for adoption. Say nothing to my dad."

"You said Toadia had her keys on her?" Luigi moves along, making Mario and Pauline look at him.

"This is a far cry from Poshley Heights." Mario notes as they walk into the shabby apartment. "What happened to her being a party girl?"

"I still think she is." Luigi says, catching Mario's eye.

Mario can't resist asking, "So...who's Destiny?" wincing at how accusatory he sounds.

"She's...my girlfriend." Luigi says awkwardly, looking everywhere but at Mario. "If you could even call her that. She's somewhere in the ballpark of girlfriend. I don't see her much."

"Hm." Is all Mario says, then adds, "Can't be easy, doing the long-distance thing."

"Actually, it's the easiest thing I've ever done." Luigi replies.

"Of course it is." Mario rolls his eyes.

"When she's here, it's amazing, and when she's gone, it's like it was all a really good dream." Luigi says. "No use missing a dream, is there?"

"You're the literal definition of no strings attached." Mario informs him, as Luigi walks into a closet, turning on a light, so Mario follows him.

"Wowie." Mario looks at all the magazine cutouts. "She may not have been rich, but she wanted to be."

"And settling for junk." Luigi says. "No one gets attacked over junk."

He picks up a piece of jewelry and gets hit with a flash.

Toadia fiddling with her toilet.

The second it's over, Luigi rushes to the bathroom, fiddling with it the same exact way.

Then he just lifts off the lid altogether, reaches in, and pulls out a plastic bag with papers in it.

"But they do get attacked over that." Mario says quietly.