I've Got the Strangest Feeling This Isn't Our First Time Around

60

 KnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnock

The rapid knocking does nothing to make Luigi speed up, as he walks to the door and opens it.

"Mario?" Luigi asks, clearly not as concerned as he should be.

"What the hell's going on that you couldn't pick up your damn phone?" Mario demands, then upon noticing Luigi's state of undress in boxers and a v neck shirt that is decidedly not his, adds, "And what the hell are you wearing?"

Luigi's eyes change into a look of guilt, but it's still not as guilty as Mario thinks he should be, instead it's more embarrassed. "Right, I was...occupied."

"With what, exactly?" Mario crosses his arms, right as a woman comes out of Luigi's bedroom.

"Hi!" She comes closer, which makes Mario notice she's wearing a button-down shirt, and stars help him, it looks good on her.

"Hi...?" Mario's at a loss, but Luigi seems to have recovered enough to make introductions, blushing. "Mario, Destiny, Destiny, Mario."

They shake hands, but Mario doesn't think he's ever been as insincere with a handshake in his life.

"Sorry." Mario winces. "Clearly I'm interrupting something, I...." here he looks at Luigi accusingly. "He wasn't answering his phone, and...we need him. At work. Now."

Luigi nods, "Right, got it. Give me a second to change.", then walks back down the hallway to his room.

"May I?" Destiny points behind her to the kitchen, and once Mario nods, she walks away as well, but still keeps talking.

"What exactly is it you do again?"

"Uh..." Mario stammers, but he's spared the need to answer when a smell reaches his nose. "That can't be truffle oil I smell. Is it?"

"Your Mama raised you to have good taste." Destiny comes back with a plate of garlic knots. "White truffle oil, if you wanna be technical."

"You know how expensive that stuff is by the bottle alone?" Mario points out.

"I have my sources." Destiny grins, then picks up one of the garlic knots. "Have a bite."

"Oh no I could—mmm." Mario's cut off by Destiny shoving the garlic knot into his mouth.

He takes a moment to chew and taste it, and holy fuck.

But out loud, he only says, "Not my Mama's, that's for sure."

"Des, I'm so sorry for this." Luigi says as he rejoins them. "Trust me, first chance I get, I'm back."

"Hey, no worries." Destiny assures, but she's looking right at Mario when she says it. "Give me a moment?" She requests, then walks back to the kitchen.

"So...Destiny, huh?" Mario says lamely.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luigi accuses as he attempts to straighten himself out.

"Nothing." Mario says quickly. "She overmixed the dough on the garlic knots. But she seems...nice. And you don't act like yourself with her."

"Excuse me?" Luigi looks at him as he straightens out his shirt.

"Less Paris, more Romeo."

"I'm sorry, are you implying I'm Romeo with Destiny, and Paris is my MO?"

"Yeah, so?" Mario doesn't get what the problem is.

Luigi crosses his arms with a teasing smile, "So you're Juliet, then?"

"Ugh!" Mario really should've seen that one coming. "Why you gotta make it gross? And besides, we all know I'm Mercutio."

Back to the point, "Why exactly are you not taking the issue of balancing your job at the Dream Lab and your personal life more seriously?"

"Why would I?" Luigi asks, then the confusion clears. "Oh, I get it. You think Destiny's gonna mess us up, don't you?"

"Us?" Mario's confusion returns, and it only gets worse when Luigi comes closer and grabs his face.

"Don't you worry, my friend." Luigi's completely teasing, relishing at how badly Mario's blushing. "No matter who I'm dating, I'll always make time for my little buddy."

Then he plants two smackeroos on Mario's cheeks, turning him redder than a tomato, right as Destiny comes back with Tupperware containers.

"For the road." She explains, handing them over.

Luigi walks away from the still blushing Mario to take them, then hands one to him, before telling Destiny, "You never cease to amaze me.", then kisses her, hard, before walking past Mario to walk out the door.

"Lights, please." Mario requests, then moves on, "Romeo, how we doing?"

"Loud and clear, Mercutio." Luigi smiles.

"Pauline?" Snoozemore asks, clearly confused.

"I don't know either, but I call Juliet!" Pauline says.

"Alright, we're clear." Mario nods. "Inducing REM sleep in 3...2...1...GO!"

"Back in the Bob-Omb mansion." Luigi tells Mario once he joins him. "In a bedroom."

Luigi watches as Toadia flips through some papers, grinning at what she's reading.

"They're back!" Luigi turns, seeing Saul appear behind them to warn.

Toadia closes the door, and Luigi watches as someone comes into the bedroom.

"Okay, Sylvia just brought someone into the bedroom." Luigi tells Mario, who nods once he can see it. "Toadia's still here?"

"Hiding in the walk-in closet." Luigi clarifies.

Toadia watches them talk for a few seconds, then suddenly pulls out her phone, turning on the camera.

"Toadia captured it on video." Mario says, noticing the gold color of the Bob-Omb, right as the scene changes.

"We're by the sewer pipe." Luigi says quickly. "Toadia's taking Sweetie Pie for a walk."

Lights out of nowhere blind them, as they hear, "Luigi's having an adrenaline spike. "

"Someone else is here." Luigi says by way of explanation, noticing how for once, the Chain Chomp is quiet.

"I want more money." He hears Toadia demand, then pull out her phone. " Or you'll be finished for good! "

The next few seconds are a blur, as a struggle ensues, with Toadia being attacked, causing her to drop Sweetie Pie's chain, making her hop away.

"We got about 20 seconds before we gotta wake her up." Mario tells Luigi. "What's going on?"

"There's a fight." Luigi replies.

" With who? "

"Yeah, who?" Mario asks as he tries to make out the attacker as well.

"I don't...know!" Luigi says in frustration, right as Toadia screams, before being bludgeoned with a Nightmare Chunk.

"We got her." Luigi says, and the two make quick work of smashing it open.

"Okay, time to wake up." Mario says.

"Right, go kiss me." Luigi says, but when Mario stares at him, trying to hold back a laugh, Luigi backpedals, blushing like crazy, "I mean pinch! Pinch me!"

Once he's awake, he tells the team, "I didn't see who petrified her. Just someone who knew how to get ahold of a Nightmare Chunk. Toadia captured Sylvia talking business with someone in their bedroom and blackmailed her."

"So she petrified her?" Snoozemore asks.

"But it wasn't about the papers." Luigi says. "It was for whatever business discussion Toadia overheard."

"Mm, yes." Snoozemore agrees. "I believe this is where we bring Sylvia into the PHPD for questioning."