The Love We Found. [A.H]

18. custody

Three months into the new year and it sucks. More cases than ever. No time home, more paperwork. We have all been swamped. It's been annoying. Astrid and Jack are having fun and stuff but it's just not the same when me and Aaron can't witness it. I groan as I get a phone call. But it's from an unknown number. I answer it. “Isabella” my father's voice rings through my head and my posture changes as I'm at my desk in the office. “What do you want?” I ask, trying to keep my emotions and expressions under control. “I wanted you to know I'm getting released on parole” he says and my heart drops. I stand up not caring about the looks I'm getting from the team and go to the women's bathroom. I lock the door behind me. “And I'm going to get custody of Astrid back” he says and my face breaks and my eyes fill with tears. “I have full custody of her” I say trying to sound strong. I hear him laugh. “No you don't, I'm getting custody back, and I'll make sure of that” he says and tears start silently falling down my face. “I get out tomorrow and I'm getting a lawyer,” he says before hanging up.

I break down. I hear a knock on the door, and I try to calm down enough to answer it. It's Emily and she embraces me immediately. I broke down again. “What happened?” she asks after a few minutes, I pull back and wipe my eyes. “My father is getting released on parole and he's going to fight me for custody” I say shaky and she nods. “Talk to hotch, he knows the best lawyers” she says and I nod. She leaves and I wash my messy makeup off and walk out. Emily must have said something because they don't question when I go to Aaron's office.

I open the door without knocking and he doesn't question it. “Aaron…I need a lawyer” I say and he looks confused. “for what?” He asks and I sit down on his small sofa he has, the door shut. “My father is getting released on parole and he's going to fight me for custody of Astrid” I say and he walks over to me and sits down next to me. He pulls my legs over his lap and I put my head on his shoulder, he rubs my back as we sit. “I'll contact someone who's really good at custody battles, Harvey is great” he says and that makes me feel a little better.

The next day I get served at the office with the notice, I hold it together, barely. I go to JJ’s old office and have a few minutes to process everything. I look at the papers over and over again. My vision glares and I start to cry. I've yet to tell Astrid as I don't want to scare her. I take a deep breath and go back to the bullpen and continue to work. I'm not going to talk about it.

A few weeks go by and I tell Astrid about what's happening as we have the first court date. The team is there, as I sit at the table with my lawyer Harvey specter. This feels fake, I hate this, being here fighting for what should be mine, but I'm sitting here waiting for the decision. “As decided, custody of Astrid Drâgos will go to her father” and I see my father look over at me and smirk and it takes everything in me not to cry. Harvey looks over at me. “I'm truly sorry” he says and I just nod. The court hearing is over and I turn back at the team. The team that has grown to love Astrid, the one who she calls aunts and uncles. The one who has helped me more than I can ask. I walk past all of them so I can say my final goodbye to Astrid.

“Hey love bug” I say walking into the room they have her in. “Mamma, what happened?” She says so happy. I take a deep breath. “Mamma's sorry, I'm so sorry baby” I say my eyes getting watery. She knows what that means and runs up to hug me, she starts to cry. “Please don't cry, love bug, I'm going to try again, okay, just please be strong for me, I promise I'll try to get you out, I love you” I say and she sniffles. “I love you too” she says. And I have to go.

I don't bother meeting the team as I go home, and just sit on my couch. I'm dull, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed. So many emotions all at once. How could I let her down like that, how could I lose her like that. I can't forgive myself. My phone buzzes and it's Aaron. I answered the phone. “Hey sweetheart, can I come over?” He asks and I contemplate what to say. “Yeah” is all I say, my voice small and dull. “I'll be over in 5” he says before hanging up.

Right on time, he's knocking at my door. I let him inside and we sat down on my couch. He pulls me into him so my head is on his chest, my arms are around him, and his hands are rubbing up and down back. “I'm sorry about today” he says and I don't say anything. “You can take the week off” he says and I still don't say anything. “I don't know what to feel, I failed her, i-i” I stop myself as tears come to my eyes. “You didn't fail her, we can try again, we can fight for custody of her” he says and I sniffle.

We lay like that until I fell asleep but Aaron doesn't move,he knows how I'm feeling. He felt the same when he lost Hailey. I feel safe, I feel comforted. I know Aaron will be with me though this and just as I drift into deep sleep I hear. “I love you”

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So umm sorry y'all just needed something else to this and heart break is that sometimes.