Watercolour

Fifteen

This chapter's also not currently proofread & edited :)

Alex's P.O.V

I found myself stood in the middle of my room, staring into my mirror. I was so stupid.

My reflection ran his hands through his hair and fixed me in a stare that I only wish I could have seen before. I dropped my gaze to the floor and hooked my thumbs into my worn jeans. These last weeks had been tough. I think I'd known that this would have happened - Alana was going to fall for him. In hindsight, it had been inexorable.

I almost wished that I could shout at myself but I just didn't have the energy. Not tonight.

I took a step towards the mirror and clenched my fists in frustration. I was so stupid.

"You said you loved her and I took you at your word," I reminded myself. "How could you let her slip away?"

"I know you're angry, but you're not the only one that loves her. You have to remember that," my reflection replied.

"But here it is. Here we are. She's off... probably hating me and all the while I have to stay here, forced to smile and get on without her."

"Don't worry, we're in this together."

"At least you mean it," I say as I clamber into my bed sheets, still fully dressed.

How was I going to explain this to Lucas? I'd be surprised if this didn't completely ruin the friendship between the three of us. Oh Shit. What had I done?

I pulled up my duvet and turned towards the darker part of the room. It was dark outside but still on the opposite wall there were rectangles of light projecting from the dim lights outside of my room. I watched them, unchanging until every now and then someone would walk past the door causing the light to disappear, plunging me into complete darkness for a few seconds. At one point, my door opened sending a stream of brightness straight through the room, landing on the wall I was facing. I shifted my head ever so slightly so I could see the light to try and make out a shadow, careful not to give away that I was still awake. The exact spot on my wall that had been illuminated was one of the MUSE quotes that my brother had stenciled onto the wall when the room had been his;

Don't waste your time or time will waste you.

"Bro?" someone whispered from behind me. I could immediately tell that it was Tobias.

I stayed still, not wanting to have to talk to anyone; especially not him. It wasn't necessarily that we didn't get on, he was just my older brother. Tobias was 21 and was still living at home after deciding that he still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and didn't want to move out either.

"Bro? Alex? You awake?"

I said nothing. Did nothing. Trying to still my breathing before I realised that people still breathe when they're sleeping. Well done Alex.

"Your phone won't stop going off; it's bloody annoying," Tobias stated bluntly into the darkness - I could just imagine the look on his face. I heard him gently place the phone on my bedside table.

My brain was telling me that I should turn around and see what he was speaking about but my body was just refusing to move.

"Who knew my brother was such a ladies'-man?" he chuckled as he left the room, once again, sending me into complete darkness.

I rolled over and blindly fumbled for my phone. I felt my finger glance its cold surface and I picked it up before returning back to my previous position.

At that moment, as I was staring at the blank screen, my phone lit up blinding me. I refocus my eyes to read the message on my lock screen; it was filled with Lucas' constant attempts to try and get hold of me.

Lucas | 23:17
Missed Call

Lucas | 23:21
What happened?

Lucas | 23:23
At Alana's? What happened?

Lucas | 23:32
Missed Call

Lucas | 23:33
Alana told me to talk to you. She won't tell me. You won't tell me. What's happened? So confused :/

Lucas | 23:35
I don't want to sound desperate or annoying or anything...?

Lucas | 23:47
Are you okay? You're not hurt or anything are you?

Lucas | 23:49
Missed Call

Lucas | 23:53
Mate, talk to me

Lucas | 23:57
Please

I dropped my phone down onto my mattress and rolled on to my back.Staring at the ceiling, I replayed what had happened at Alana's; what had been said. How was I going to explain this to Lucas?

I unlocked my phone and got ready to type something back to Lucas but nothing came to mind. Absolutely nothing.

To Lucas;
|I'm fine

|Well, kind of

From Lucas;
|What do you mean? Are you sure you're alright?

|Do you want me to come over?

To Lucas;
|It's gone midnight

From Lucas;
|That's cool... if you need to talk I'm more than happy to come over

To Lucas;
|Don't worry. I'll just try my best to tell you... you'll probably just have to bear with me

From Lucas;
|Take your time... I've got all morning ;)

And so I did. For the next two hours we had talked almost non-stop about what had happened at Alana's and what we were going each going to do next. Surprisingly, we rarely went off topic and managed to keep the conversation going long into the early morning before we quickly came to a halt; and when we did, it felt like we were the only people awake for miles. We were awake without the world.

There was a soft vibration against my chest and the ceiling was lit up by a distinct light. I brought my phone up in front of my eyes and looked at the screen. I was bombarded with memories as my wallpaper was now visible after being covered by multiple message alerts.

YouTube
Alana Grey just uploaded a video

I hesitated before deciding to click on the link and my phone immediately redirected me to a blank screen. I was about to close the page when the video started playing and my attention was instantly captured by what was on the screen.

There she sat as usual, in her room with her guitar across her crossed legs, speaking at the camera.

"Hey guys! So, I know it's been a while since I last uploaded a video so I'm sorry about that but here's my cover of 'I Miss You' by Blink 182. I know some of you have been requesting this song for a while now, so here it is..."

*

Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.