New beginnings p2

Life update

So adding onto the last two I did make some tough calls and release some people. It's hard honestly, I still miss them, but time moves forward.
School started which has me exhausted but i feel optimistic that im on the right path. Tbh though I had not necessarily thought of how I'd pay for the next step after my associates. My plan rn is to save but money recently is so tight. Tight as in under 100$ in my checking due to my refusal to use credit cards and my heavy payments towards my car. I do debate how long I want to actually keep chugging away at that. I'm still a few months away because I didn't contribute anything in December. Also, the 401k contributions started which kind of made my take home a ridiculously small amount. My whole second paycheck being rent and maybe gas. It's not ideal. Ig you can say the majority of my check goes out and I know that's bad because it leaves me zero room for saving. I listen to Dave Ramsey a lot and he says 1k emergency fund and the rest to debt. The other financial YouTubers would combat that and say 1k is not nearly enough for an emergency (very true) so I'd rather not touch savings and for now focus on debt. But ig when I have school as a fixed income expense coming up and possible plans to travel it would be better to do sinking funds and contribute consistently.
I got ramit's book for Christmas and I had really wanted to read it. I have yet to find the time though. I find my weekends so busy. I suppose my thoughts last week of wanting to be alone have calmed down thankfully and I am back and thriving with the small group of people I actually talk to now. Ramit though wrote about automation with finances and I wanted to look into that. It's just a fear that might checking might overdraft due to the timing and not having enough of a cushion. I think cushions and emergency funds, savings, and investments are all vital priorities. But I have some time. I am stressed about it but I think my knowledge might be ahead of the game in some cases. I look back to where I was the last two years though and feel proud. I did not know really anything until April 2023 when I started overnights and the podcasts.

I think I had a tendency to use credit cards to afford what otherwise I couldn't or savings. It wasn't as bad as some people. But I def have a few purchases I wonder about. (ie. a printing press) And I think when you work in retail you have an itch to kind of overspend on clothes to keep up. I do entirely regret leaving Home Depot for that job now.

Today at work I was thinking about how I like trends that aim to better oneself -decluttering/ financial literacy. I kind of thought maybe it would be nice to be surrounded by more individuals who also felt motivated by a thirst for knowledge and aimed for that same goal. But then my second thought was that I'm not very restrictive to the who I let into my life and I'm not necessarily upset by that. I think I am willing to give anyone a chance, genuinely no matter their past. Part of my knowledge search expands to individuals, wanting to learn their motivations and thought processes. We can be friends as long as you treat me with respect and hopefully others to a degree- meaning not talking about friends behind their back, not degrading others.
I think I've been willing to let people go when I feel like that learning might be done or I feel like it's an outcome that someone else wants but feels hesitant to do. I wouldn't force my friendship on anyone genuinely and if someone isn't invested then I will put my energy towards something else. I suppose the difficulty with that though is that because of my limited number of friends, I value the ones I do have so highly. Another reason why I am opening myself up to more standards in friendships. I think with friends I tend to be optimistic and forgiving and let others back into my life perhaps I shouldn't. I am learning now tricky that can be though and ultimately draining. So going forward I won't. But I think in the back of my mind I'm constantly also thinking I'm hard to get along with or hard to be friends with. Heh. I got a tendency to push people away because I think I'm doing them a favor. Which I mean, I really think I am.

Apologizing for the jumble of thoughts here. Feels good to get it out tho.
:)