New beginnings p2

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I have a lot of thoughts and fears on rotation.

Is a stutterer going to speech therapy more the convenience of other people rather than themselves? Because a stutterer's brain works fine, it's just a tiredness of the bullying, looks, mocking.
Honestly I think the therapy a stutterer does for themselves is psychiatric. Because of the traumas endured from people's reactions^. 

My head tells me I won't amount to anything. I would like to counter it, but it's true. If I stay where I am at now, the best I can expect is a lifetime at HD as an associate. Which is fine, but honestly I think I am smarter than that. I am curious about the world, so it would be a disservice to myself.

It's just.. to get away from this reality I have to change myself. The person I am rn is weak and scared. My stutter means that my fears are obvious. They're exemplified by my anxieties. And sadly I've been stuttering all week. After months of not, and thinking maybe I had finally outgrown it.