All the words I couldn't say

What if I stopped caring?

What if I stopped caring?
Would all of this happening to me end?
What if I actually stopped looking back at memories?
Will I be able to pretend?

Will I be able to pretend that I'm happy?
Will I be able to enjoy everything like I used to?
Will I be able to take everything lightly?
Will I be able to speak up like I used to?

What if I stopped loving like I do?
Would someone care to love me like I did?
What if I suddenly disappeared?
Would anyone even look for me like I would've looked for them?

Will I be able to pretend that I don't care?
Will I be able to pretend that I don't cherish memories?
Will I be able to stop falling for words?
Will I ever be able to pretend that I stopped loving others?

As simple the question is, simpler is the answer.
No. In bold, in caps and with apostrophes on it's sides.

I know I won't be able to stop caring,
cuz I'm too weak to do so.

I know I won't be able to stop looking back at memories,
cuz somewhere they're the reason for me smile.

I know I won't be able to stop falling for words,
cuz probably I am too naive.

I know I won't be able to stop loving,
cuz I haven't been taught how to do so.

That's the point isn't it?
You're never taught to hate,
you're always taught to love,
yet some people choose to hate.

I've heard that love sets you free,
free from all the tensions that you could possibly have.
It makes your life a reel,
with music, dialogues and a script which isn't written be your hands.

Still, I don't understand, why people choose hate over love.
Cuz I choose love over hate,
not because I wish to be different,
but just cuz, I wish to experience some deliverance.