A COUPLE WEEKS LATER: EARLY JUNE 2014
• M A L I K •
My heart was beating a mile a minute as I stood at the doorway of the unfamiliar home.
"You got it, baby. Thur's no need ta be nervous," I recall Trevon's words to me before I left his house.
My anxiety was on a thousand. Tre told me that I have a bad anxiety problem and that's probably why I always feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.
What if they hate me? I thought and other similar thoughts popped into my head.
He told me when I started to feel like this to take a deep breath like he makes me do when he's about to put the dick in...Just a fuckin' thot...
But, I took his advice. I took a deep breath a few times until my heart rate slowed down to normal. I slowly raised my hand and knocked on the door.
I waited a moment.
No answer.
I was about to turn around, but I thought about the conversations I had with my baby, and how I wanted to be a better person. Not just for my kids, but for me, for my family, for the love of my life...
This was a good step.
I looked down at the envelope in my hand, then looked back at the door. I knocked again. This time a little harder.
"Who is it?" An older woman's voice spoke, making my heart speed up again.
Deep breaths, Malik. You owe them this.
"Who the hell is hur at this time of day?" she said again opening the door. A short dark-skinned woman answered. When her eyes landed on me, she stared for a moment, then when she recognized me her eyes got so big, it looked as if they would fall out of her skull.
"Baby!" she yelled in a panic.
"I'm not hur ta hurt nobody!" I yelled putting my hands up. She slammed the door shut. "I just wanna talk!" I shouted again.
A moment later, the door opened again, revealing a man, I assume is her husband, with a shotgun pointed towards me and a scowl on his face so deep, you'd think it was his natural expression. "Getcho ass off my lawn, nigga. I'll kill yo ass this time,"
"I'm not hur ta hurt nobody," I said keeping my hands up. "I jus wanna apologize n give you this," I said reaching out the hand that had the envelope. He jumped a bit, raising his gun to my face.
I'm not going to lie. It's few times I was scared, but I was scared at this moment. If he decided to pull the trigger, I would just die...and I would deserve it too.
He looked down at my hand and then back to my eyes. He snatched the envelope from me, putting it in his pocket, putting the gun back on me.
"Ion got nun on me," I spoke. "Not a thing except that envelope," I kept my hands up.
He stared at me before putting his gun down to his side. "Keep your hands whur I can see em," he spoke as he pulled the envelope out. He then carefully opened it, his eyes going wide when he saw the stack of twenties. "What the fuck is this?" he looked at me still frowning.
