Sex, Alcohol and Lee Minho - Minsung

Chapter 33

"Hey" Jisung said, grinning lightly as he showed off the huge pizza in his hands.

Minho responded with a low chuckle, letting the boy enter and guiding him to the kitchen. As soon as his face was on Jisung's sight, he couldn't help but gasp.

"Did- Did you cry ?" Jisung asked

"Nothing bad" Minho shrugged, wiping his undereye to hide the tear trail.

"Wanna talk about it ...?" Jisung offered, sitting at the table

"I don't think so" He shrugged once more "I don't think it's an important conversation to have with you"

"I feel like... you're crying because of me" Jisung stated, somehow extremely uneasy

Minho only stared at him for a moment. He didn't know what to say. Yes ? No ?

If he admitted, Jisung might cut ties with him, right ?

If he denied, he would lie to him, and Minho ain't no liar.

He sighed loudly.

"I guess I've been sensitive lately" He chuckled dryly "And I felt ... used ?"

"Used ?"

"Yeah, like you're using me" Minho winced "Which is actually the principle of our situation, and I understand that. But I guess those last days just have been a bit too much".

Jisung bit his lip in guilt. But Minho was right, the goal of their relationship was to actually use each other.

"Because... I have sex with a lot of people and you don't ?" Jisung asked

"Yeah..." Minho admitted "Don't get me wrong, I know we agreed on that, and I have no rights to actually be hurt by that when you have been nothing but clear about that, but ... still" He sighed loudly.

"Do you... have feelings for me ?" Jisung asked, not daring to look up at him as he stared down at his pizza slice.

"I- Yeah ... ?" He admitted, shakily "I still can't really put... words... on what those feelings are, but I do feel some things ? I do feel happy when I'm around you, and I do feel somehow sad when you talk about your hookups, I don't know..." He sighed loudly "This is stupid, I have no right to be jealous, or whatever that is... I just... yeah"

"I- I don't know what to say... um... Let me just process" Jisung said.

"No, it's okay. I know it's hard for you, you don't have to answer. You asked what was wrong, and I told you" Minho reassured

"... My goal was never to hurt you" Jisung let out

"I know, I don't picture you as the bad guy" Minho reassured "You were clear, I'm the one failing on the 'agreement' here"

"I- I don't think I'm ready for a re- relationship" Jisung blurted out "But-"

"I know" Minho softened "I know, hannie. I understand you, alright ? I'm not expecting from you, don't stress yourself. Your feelings are valid

"No, it's not what I wanted to say" He shook his head "Like... um... I'm not ready... but like... if there's someone I would like to pine for ... it just could be ... you know" He tried to explain

"Me ?"

"Yes"

"Oh" Minho said, trying to keep his calm from the thunder shakening his insides.

"Yeah..." Jisung gulped, terribly shy from the statement.

"W-what should we do... then ?" Minho asked