Salmon Bagel and a Hot Chocolate

30 - Forget Everything And Run

Minjeong had done it again. She was doubting everything to a point where she was losing sleep overthinking it. 

She had lasted almost two full weeks without worrying about anything, all her focus on Karina and Karina only, but everything came crashing down one night when she was in bed, alone with her thoughts. 

Karina still didn't know everything about her and the moment Minjeong realised that, she had a horrible, sinking feeling that it would scare the older one away. Karina only knew the good things and just the tip of the bad things. Minjeong hadn't opened up to her about anything else yet. 

All that just made Minjeong feel like she was being inauthentic– like she wasn't being truthful to Karina– and that increased her worries regarding Karina giving up and leaving. 

As much as she avoided acknowledging it, Minjeong knew she was messed up in some way or the other. Her job was messy, her past was messy, the way she dealt with things was messy, and now she was terrified that Karina would leave after realising that. 

In Minjeong's mind, Karina was deserving of so much more. So much better than herself. Karina already had to deal with Jeno for so long, Minjeong didn't want to just be another addition to someone Karina would have to struggle to be with. 

How was it possible that Karina could ever like someone like her? How was Karina able to look at her with stars in her eyes? Minjeong was worried it was all superficial and that once Karina got to know everything about her, she'd leave. 

Minjeong hated being vulnerable around people, because vulnerability could be used as a weapon. She hated the thought of someone breaking down her layers only to then use it against her. 

Karina didn't seem like someone who would do that, but what if Minjeong didn't know enough about Karina? What if there was some deep dark past she had yet to discover? 

"Minjeong." 

What if this was all part of a greater plan to destroy her completely? What if Karina was sent to ruin her? 

"Minjeong." 

What if Karina was playing some sick prank? Minjeong didn't know if Karina was into pranks, she didn't know Karina enough at all. Karina didn't know all her secrets, why would she know all of Karina's?

"Minjeong!" 

The woman snapped out of her thoughts with a shake of her head, taking a deep breath in before looking at Yunjin, "Sorry. Yeah?" 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I was just thinking," Minjeong let out a small smile. "What's up?" 

"You've been thinking a lot, lately," Yunjin looked at Minjeong in concern, walking into her office while shutting the door behind her. "And you haven't been looking too at peace doing so. Are you sure everything's okay?" 

"Yeah, it's just-" Minjeong took a deep breath in. "A lot on my mind." 

"I figured since you and Karina are together now, you'd be more at peace," Yunjin said. "You've only looked more stressed ever since." 

"It's nothing." Minjeong shook her head, not really wanting to get into how she was worried about everything that could ever happen with Karina. 

Yunjin just gave Minjeong a look, as if she was trying to get into her head. 

"She's not Jay." 

Minjeong clenched her jaw. She knew Karina was nothing like him– at least she hoped things would never get to that stage ever again– but what if? What if she was going to get her to be vulnerable and then humiliate her after?