On Tour [HS]

Fifty Two

Love On Tour

Warning: implications of suicide/drug overdose and pregnancy complications/bleeding.

Living off the high of getting engaged to the love of my life was truly how I wanted to continue thriving, basking in the fact I'd be marrying my fiance. I swear I was in a continual state of inflation, unable to bring myself down with the most gorgeous ring sitting prettily on my finger.

We kept our engagement a secret from everyone while we continued our blissful stay in Vienna, making sure to hide my hand in any pictures we sent back home into the family group chat. Little dates followed the rest of our stay, coffee shops, going back out on the same river we released lanterns for Eloise on and getting to explore the city with the man who is now my fiance.

A title growing up I had never even considered for Harry and even though I about that type of stuff a lot, however, mainly my thoughts consisted of him being my boyfriend. I had always been too afraid to ask him when we were teenagers even when we were sexually involved with one another, our feelings were continually diminished by our own minds to protect our relationship.

With maturity has come less fear. If we never pursued a relationship with one another then what would've happened? Sometimes even if you're scared of the unknown you have to say fuck it because you never know what beautiful things can come from your own dread.

Imagine if our friendship was all that blossomed while we continued to be madly in love with one another but had to watch each other love another person unaware the feelings were truly reciprocated.

Harry and I truly would have messed things up to the extremes if he hadn't toured the world which is why I continue to be grateful for that experience he was gifted with.

The rest of our time in Vienna had truly been the best few days of my life, obviously beneath the births of my children, but extremely high up there on the list. Being able to thrive off the blissful and perfect few days with just the man I love meant the world to me. We spent nights cuddled together either on the balcony or in bed but cherishing and thanking the moon, mornings watching the sunrise while eating breakfast and the days were filled with all-consuming love.

Nothing could've ruined how I was feeling, my cheeks were permanently etched into a large grin and they ached desperately for relief I'd never give... or so I'd thought.

When we returned a few days later we found everyone hanging out in our home with faces that only could read as gloom. That's when I finally flattened from the large cartoonish expression, reality slowly sinking back in seeing everyone sitting around the living room not even lighting up to see us.

They'd been so desperate to keep Harry and I in the state they knew we'd be in that they chose to neglect telling us what had happened while we were away. A fact that terrified me, the fact I'd been walking around unaware because they'd lied about everything being okay back home.