in love with shoota

2

Mar POV

The drive to my town was only about 5 hours away. But it took me almost two hours to call off work and file all these dumb ass documents to take leave.

So I ain't pull up to grandma house til about 8 o'clock. I woulda been here an hour later if I was doing the speed limit, but I had to be going at least 90 on the highway.

I was on edge the whole way. The only thing I was thinking about was getting here and seeing my brother. I was pleading the whole way down here not to let some happen to him.

And if he do end up alright. Imma put his ass right back in the hospital.

I sighed, making no move to get out the car. This house was bringing back too many memories. When grandma'd bake her tasty ass apple pie. My ass'll get in trouble for tryna eat fore it cooled. Or that one time, my dumb ass and the neighborhood kids raced down a hill. I fucked everything up, had scabs every damn where and had to go to the hospital for my arm. Grandma was mad as hell. I had to be grounded for least two months.

As kids, Lo really wasn't into all that. Everytime we came outside, all he wanted to do was play basketball. And when me being the trouble-maker of the house did some stupid shit, he'd try his best to take the fall. That nigga always had my back.

Grandma started getting sick while we was in high school, and he stopped playing ball completely. The shit ain't seem right cause this was the same nigga talking bout going pro, getting a house in the hills, all that.

So one day I asked him. "Lo, why you on't hoop no more? Who gone take us out the hood?" I joked, copying one of his silly ass shooting moves.

He ain't laugh or even grin. He been like this for awhile, ever since they told us about grandma diagnosis. I try not to let it get to me, but he wasn't the same brother I knew. Not like I ain't love him still, but it was like everything that made Lo himself was just...gone.

"Mar, you just focus on graduating, ight? Don't worry bout nothing else."

In that moment, I ain't know what the fuck he meant. Few months later, I saw him hanging with the thug niggas. I knew they was no good, but if I asked about it, I knew he was gon give me this round-about ass speech. Don't worry bout me, Mar. I got this, Mar. Everything'll be alright, Mar.

But everything wasn't fucking alright. Grandma passed last semester of my senior year. I was studying for exams crying over my textbooks and shit. Lonely as hell. Not saying Lo wasn't going through it too. He had graduated 3 years before me, but he had to transfer and redo a year. Lo wasn't dumb, he just got so caught up with that gang shit, he was slacking in his lessons and didn't ever ask for help.

So he was out of school by time grandma passed, but was out trapping to pay hospitals bills, funeral arrangements, and all that other shit.

Honestly, ion know how we made it out of that year, but shit here I was.

I dragged myself out the car and up the porch steps. I locked my car and twisted the house key into the lock.

I closed the door behind me as I walked in. I sighed as I plopped onto the couch. I took a look around before I laid against one of the pillows, shoes on and everything.

Everything was exactly the same as I remembered. When grandma passed, everything was written in Lo name since he was the oldest: the house, and whatever money she still had. Glad to see his ass was taking care of the house okay.

I actually never tripped off him being in control of shit like that. That was always what Lo did, not me. I was used to being the baby brother: him always being there to take care of whatever went down, and me just doing whatever. He was trappin, paying for groceries and the bills, while I fucked around with girls until I got a car and a job in the city.

I never had to think too hard about the serious shit, I just left it up to Lo. But now, I had to start cause, besides Lo, I ain't have nobody else. Nobody else was gon check up on me and curse me out when I wasn't doing right. Nobody could replace the brother I lived most my life with.

So it was either I bossed up or his ass got better. I was hoping that he just got better so I ain't have to do that first part.