in love with shoota

16.5

*this another dream chapter bih!

*lol. imagine Don having emotions

Mar POV

I opened the door to a random room and laid down.

The sheets ain't smell like nothing and there was barely anything in the room. Like nobody really be in here.

I let out a sigh as I snuggled deeper into the sheets.

I just don't get it. All my life it's been "Mar, you gotta grow up", "When you gon stop being a fucking kid all that time", "Ion know how you make the real world, they gon eat you up, lil bruh."

Every single step I took, Lo and Don let me know I was childish, unserious, slow, and not fit for shit less it was a book or already dead.

What the fuck could I do differently tho? I can't change shit or make it so I don't make mistakes. I'm fucking human, but I guess only grams saw that in me.

And it's not like I was expecting no grand welcome from all this, but shit, it's not like they gon listen or actually hear what I gotta say.

I just don't get how I keep trying, but shit..

The door creaked open with a small click and I groaned into the comforter.

Fuck. It's prolly Don, this nigga got the worst timing. I know it ain't Lo, nigga ain't got no sympathic bone in his body. All he ever say is "Yo, you'll be alright. Trust me." But it's always some bullshit.

"I see yo ass den calmed down." He spoke in the silence. I felt him lay some on the bed.

I looked up, peeking through the covers to see him standing by the bed awkwardly. Look like he ain't know what else to say.

I wish he'd just say some he actually believed instead that bullshit he be spitting. Prolly be better than holding it all in, telling himself lies and other stupid shit.

When he turned to leave, I panicked. I ain't really want him to stay, but some bout him always calmed me down.

I reached out, grabbing his wrist, making him pause. He looked at me like he was gon punch me, but at this point I was used to it.

"Uh, lay down wit me." I mumbled, trying my best to look at his eyes.

Fuck, Mar. This not the time to get nervous.

"Nigga, I ain't laying with you." He laughed, snatching his hand away.

When I thought he was gon leave out, he sat all the way on the edge of the bed. Ion know why but it hurt my heart for a minute.

What did I even do? I mean, it's nothing new. It's funny how I always find a way to fuck shit up. I thought what me and Don had... Thought even if I did some crazy like burn some down, run for president, it'll always be me and Quan. This proved that wrong real quick, I guess. I just still don't...

"What's on yo mind tho?" Don spoke up.

I honestly ain't know what to say. Everything was in my head all at once. I ain't know how to put it to words.

I watched as he fidgeted for minute, fore getting lost in thought himself.

My heart sank. I, it reminded me when we was younger. I could tell you what he wanted or was thinking just from looking at him. I could tell when he was hurt, didn't want to talk, was avoiding something.

I tried to see if even a tiny bit of that connection was still there, but when I looked at what I could of his face..there was nothing.

"Ion see why ya'll treat me like a lil ass kid. I den grown up and allat. That shit just ain't fair."