in love with shoota

6

Mar POV

After Don got in the line, I just been in my head. Cause obviously, I couldn't have no conversation with the nigga beside me.

Can't believe this shit. All a sudden it's fuck me and how I feel. I mean, I ain't saying nothing bout these feelings was right, but damn. Could I least get more than some, Oh, Mar, just forget about it, We adults now, things change. Obviously, the fuck they don't if I'm still feeling some type of way. Like, ight, the shit not normal, I got that part. But how you gon tell me what to feel and not feel?

You know what, maybe I am trippin. Maybe, I am in the wrong. We was kids back then, stupid, dumb. And you know that's the past and I respect it, you feel me. But it's not adding up. If everything in the past, if we forgotting bout everything, why everything tryna come to the present to beat my ass.

And people be putting the blame on me like I wanted this shit happen. You think I wanted my only brother to have a bullet in his side? You think I wanted my only parent figure to die? Most of all, you think I wanted to start a crush on my childhood friend who on't even like me back? Like them niggas dumb ass hell. I hate this shit, but I got handed it. And all of a sudden everything my fault for shit I can't control. Like get the fuck outta here.

And even if it was some to what I was feeling, Don wouldn't let shit happen, he'd drop my ass inna heartbeat. We just had a whole agrument cause I was tryna have a fucking talk, bro. A real one bout feelings and shit. But guess he a hard ass nigga now when his ass used to be a fucking crybaby.

I just on't know what to do bout none of this, and don't nobody wanna see how I understand it.

I sighed, bringing my hand to my forehead. This shit was giving me a headache. Let me just let it go for now. I just gotta get home and crash. That's it.

When the car stopped at the house, I was quick to open the door. All I was thinking bout was sleep and finally getting away from this nigga. Doing all that, I forgot completely about the box of food on my lap.

A hand came to my wrist and pulled me back into the car. "Nigga, be careful. If you waste the food I bought, imma be mad." He chuckled, tryna joke, but I wasn't really for it.

"My fault." I mumbled absentmindly, pulling away. Now, you wanna be all touchy with me, over some damn food. Figures with his hungry ass.

I made sure to grab the food this time fore tryna get out. This nigga grabbed me again.

"Yo, what do you want? I'm tryna leave you alone cause that's what you want, right?" I spat, looking down. I ain't mean to come at him like that, I'm just..over everything at this point.

"My bad, nigga. Why you moving so fast, like somebody chasing you or some. Like you good? You want me to come in or some." Here he go with the rambling. Maybe if I was in a different mood, I'd have some sympathy or some. Say I was alright, try to make a joke or some. But that wasn't me right now, he got on my bad side. He gotta deal with that right now.

"Nah, I'm straight." I grunted out, tryna pull away. He squeezed my arm a lil tighter. When the fuck this nigga get so strong?

I sighed and looked up at what he was gon say next. Obviously, since we holding niggas hostage, he gotta have some to say.

We was staring for a lil minute, but he looked away first. Oh wow, look who wanna act scary now. I rolled my eyes. Like bro, you can fool other niggas with this front you putting up, but you not fooling me.

"Yo, look, I ain't mean to go too hard on you earlier, ight? So chill on the attitude. I still got yo back, you feel me?" He spoke up finally, still not looking me in the eyes.

That was a start, but it still wasn't the confession I wanted. Maybe he right, I gotta let this shit go. Ain't no use in hoping for some that ain't gon happen.

"Ight. You gon let me go now?" I said, shaking the arm he was still holding on to.

He let go and leaned back over so he was in the driver seat. "Yeah, my fault. I'll see you tomorrow or some." I didn't miss the small grin on his face. Was he happy about seeing me? De'quan Marius Brown? The nigga that just curved me with a you need to grown up? Nah, couldn't be the same nigga.

I closed the car door and made my way to the house. When the key turned in the lock, I nearly ran to collapse on the couch.

That nigga had me exhausted. Then wanna be all happy to see me tomorrow. Get the fuck on.

I turned over, a smile creeping on my face too. Fuck!