tears on my scars.

i wanna die.

I wanna die
But it's too early
I wanna live
But it's too late.

This is the play of fate
As its climax fades
I slowly lose pace
I'm left with no more grace.

I never had flowers
I waited for him for hours
I'll still be waiting for him from inside of my grave
Hoping that he'd give me a lot of flowers on my doom’s day.

I opened my eyes for the first time
I was sent straight from heavens by the divine
I once again go back to them
As I close my eyes for the last time.

This might be my last rhyme
The unworthy wife of the wild
The ashamed child
Finally decides to die.

I don't wanna live in this reality
I don't wanna wake up in this world
So I close my eyes
Wishing to wake up somewhere else.

The world outside
Is so pretty and nice
But the world that lies inside
Is worthy of dying.

The day I was born
Everyone cried
So I wish that the day I die
Everyone will smile.

“Kill me.” I said
To the gods
“Save me” I begged
Once again, to the gods.

When I was a child
I wanted to fly
And now my wish will finally come true
As I'll be free from these hymns.

Everyone treated me unfairly
They don't deserve me
But death is fair
For it's the only real thing, not a snare.

I wanted to live
I wanted to grow old, live happy and have kids
But I wasn't too strong to live jubilant enough
So I gave up.

I had only one reason to live
That reason was none other than him
But the day he left
Those ninety nine reasons won.

I started my day terrible
My unfed mind was devouring itself like a cannibal
I ended my day with peace
As I’d never see the trees.

It was worth living this life
I guess it was worth telling the lies
Because for a time
You were mine.

My life was the beginning of the end
My death will be the ending of the tranquil beginning
I'm still sinning
For I'm still living.

My mom told me she loved me
When I was alive
I told my mom I loved her
When I was dying.

I used to ask myself before
Does the pain ever end?
Time gave me the answer
Yes, it ends.

I wrote my story
Holding a pen
I ended my story
Holding a gun.

I'd forever tell my dad
Catch me
Be it from the gates of heaven
To the gates of reality.

I wish I could find a reason
To die
But I would still die
For I don't have a reason to live.

I opened my eyes
With a lot of dreams
I closed my eyes
To seek peace.

I loved counting stars
I loved those stars the most who had scars
I was filled with gloom
Until I realised that someone counted me too.