Lover

4x05 The Role You Were Born to Play

Marley and Ariel are in the bathroom, where Ariel is touching up the slight make-up that she has on and Marley puts on some lip balm when Wade walks into the bathroom. "Hey. This is the girl's bathroom," Marley says.

"I sit when I pee," Wade says.

"How psyched are you for Grease auditions?" Marley asks them both. "I want Sandy... so bad."

"And you will get her. I just know it," Ariel says.

"I'm not auditioning," Wade says.

"What? Why not?" Marley asks before looking at them. "You know you'd get a part."

"I don't want a part. I want the part– Rizzo," Wade says. "No offence, Sandra Dee, but Rizzo's the money role. A hot bitch who thinks she's pregnant and has a heart of gold. It's my life story. But they won't give me the role. Everyone sees me in drag as a joke or a stunt. But it'd feel as weird for me to play Danny Zuko as it would for you both."

"Artie and those guys know that," Ariel says.

"Tell them you want to audition for Rizzo and I'm sure they'll give you a chance," Marley says.

"Otherwise. Some of them are gonna have some bruises that won't be beautiful," Ariel says.

Just then the toilet flushes and Sue walks out and says "You know, the casual eavesdropper hearing the feminine lilt of voices would assume you're a couple of regular gals yapping in the crapper. But then the scent of talcum powder and day-old pantyhose tells a different story. If it isn't McKinley High's very own Tina Stomach-Turner and her trusty sidekick..." Sue then thinks for a minute. "Trying to think of a mean nickname for you, and I'm blanking. But you. Urethra Franklin, you are a boy, and you are fooling no one. You are smuggling more kielbasa under those gowns than a homesick Polish lady trying to sneak through customs."

"You can't say things like that," Marley says.

"You'' find I can say anything I want," Sue says. "Stunning, kind-faced, blue-eyed girl. Now, I know full well that gender confusion is the liberal media's new darling, bored with drowning the nation's airwaves with tinny sitcoms so gay that you have to stretch a dental dam over your television set to watch them safely. The Hollywood communists are busy force-feeding us drag-queen reality shows and soft profiles of gender-confused, hormone-gobbling preteens who faint at the sight of their genitals. There's no way in hell you're gonna play Rizzo. I will not allow you to unleash a teenage maelstrom of gender-bent sexual confusion at this school, so you can turn it around and make it a launch party for your very own line of male girdles and a brand-new fragrance called 'Nut Whiff'."

"We don't care what you say," Ariel says. "I've had enough of you criticising my friends and the next time you do I will report you to the superintendent who would love to hear about what you have been doing."

"We're both auditioning for that musical," Marley says before Ariel, Marley and Wade walk out of the bathroom.

(Blow Me One Last Kiss sung by Wade and Marley)

Ariel is sitting behind Finn while Wade and Marley are auditioning and they both look like they are having the time of their lives.

When they stop singing, everyone applauds them and Mercedes says "That had more energy than the last three auditions combined."

"Ladies. Any preference for the parts you want to play?" Artie says to them.

"Sandy," Marley states quickly. "Definitely Sandy."

"What about you, Wade?" Mike asks.

"I would like to play Rizzo," Wade says.