The Act|| Tarasia

Chapter Five

Taraji's POV

This morning, after watching the sunrise and having a talk with my father, I made the conscious decision to turn in my signed contract to Blitz, Oprah, and Warner Brother Studios. That means that there's really no going back now, and whatever fears I have about playing my role will have to be conquered. I miss when acting used to make me feel like I was making a difference in someone's life, even if it was just one person. I hope that doing "The Color Purple" will help me get that feeling back.

Following my morning ritual of journaling and making a healthy breakfast for myself, I got ready to take my French bulldog, K-Ball, out for a walk. K-Ball was a gift from my ex-fiancé, and he is the only good thing that came out of my relationship with Kelvin Hayden. When I finally found the strength to leave Kelvin, I got rid of and destroyed everything that reminded me of him, but K-Ball was the one thing he gave to me that I couldn't part with. I met Kelvin at a party that my hairstylist set up for me to meet some guys, because I was tired of being alone. I still am, but I'll take being alone over being cheated on and used as a punching bag. The moment I saw Kelvin, I knew that I wanted him. There was just something about his eyes that I couldn't shake, and they touched me deep within. I couldn't have predicted that his pair of eyes that held so much love and adoration for me would be filled with nothing but hatred down the line. The first few months of our relationship was pure bliss. What I liked most about him was that he took his time getting to know Taraji the woman instead of Taraji the actress. I guess he didn't Taraji the woman all that much, because after proposing to me 6 months into our relationship, he started to show his true colors, and they were all dark. I have a few Emmy's and Golden Globes under my belt, but the act he put on of being a caring and gentle man was Oscar-worthy.

It started with the little things, like him rolling his eyes or telling me to shut up if I said something he didn't agree with. It escalated when he began calling me out of my name like disrespect and misogyny was his second language. God, why didn't I just leave right then? I could have avoided so much pain and heartache. Why did I wait so long? Maybe I was punishing myself. I was trying to make up for being too headstrong and mouthy for men from my past relationships to handle. I can't explain why I felt the need to apologize for my strength. I just know that it was never enough for Kelvin. He wasn't the first man that put his hands on me. Back in my college years, the father of my son punched me in the face. I made the excuse that he was young and dumb, but I didn't stay. I don't know why I had the will to leave him, but not Kelvin. Perhaps it's because I was younger then, and the fear of growing old and dying alone is realer than most people know. I'm 53 years old and I have never been married. What's wrong with me? Every man that I ever loved only saw me as a prize to claim. When am I going to win and claim Taraji back?

I was grateful for the sound of my ringing doorbell pulling me out of my heavy thoughts. If I kept going on and on in my head with the self-hate speech, I was bound to have another episode of panic. K-Ball scampered to the door ahead of me on his little legs, bouncing on his paws.  I opened the door and came face to face with thin air. I pulled my face in confusion, sticking my head out of the door and looking around to see if anyone was there, but there was no one. I was about to just turn around and go back inside when I looked down and saw the most stunning bouquet of purple tulips. I let out a soft gasp, picking them up and smelling them. K-Ball nipped at my heels as I carried the bouquet inside.

Taraji: Who could this be from?

There was a card tucked inside. Reading the swirly, cursive script, I was genuinely touched by the sweet message.

~Purple represents royalty, nobility, luxury, power, and ambition. For that reason, I thought that purple flowers would be extremely fitting for you. I look forward to watching you in action on the set of "The Color Purple".

With love, your new best friend(In case you couldn't guess, it's Fantasia)

I threw my head back and laughed, probably a little bit harder than I needed to, at her little side note on the end. I'm shocked, but elated that she sent these to me. I would have expected this from Oprah or maybe even Blitz, but not my future co-star that I just met. It makes me want to do something nice for her. Maybe I'll have a girls' night and invite her over, and I'll invite Danielle, too. I was sincere about wanting to form a friendship with them both. In Hollywood, most black women, and honestly women in general typically get a bad rep for being too competitive and bitchy to one another. Danielle and Fantasia are new to this, and I want to show them a different side. I got both of their numbers at Oprah's brunch, so I made a group chat with them.

Taraji: Hey ladies!

Fantasia💜: What's up Taraji?

Danielle💜: I wish all the bitches who bullied me in high school could see that I'm in a group chat with Fantasia and Taraji P Henson😝

Taraji: You're so crazy Danielle. When you tell those bitches you're in a group chat with us, make sure you also mention that you're having a girls' night with us. If you girls aren't doing anything tommorow night, I want you to come over. I had the best time with you guys at brunch, and I want the positive energy to keep flowing!

Danielle💜: I ain't got shit to do! I'll be there. This is gonna be fun. Aww I love this for us🥹🫶🏾

Fantasia💜: What do you want us to bring?

Taraji: Your cutest pajamas and your empty stomachs. I wanna cook for you guys

Danielle💜: I'm honored that you want to cook for us, but I know that you're a vegan and I'm not all that into eating grass and drinking leaf juice

Fantasia💜: Yeah T, I'm more into ribs and steak than radishes and spinach

Danielle💜: Broccoli is cool with a lil cheese

Taraji: I'll have vegan and non-vegan options🙄 Just say you'll come

Danielle💜: Just tell us the time and place, drop your pin

Fantasia💜: You won't be able to get rid of me😩😛

I texted them my address and what time to be at my place before stepping out to take K-Ball on his long-awaited walk. I damn near walked into a tree because I couldn't stop looking at the last message that Fantasia sent. Her choice of words and emojis stirred something within me. I feel silly, acting like a teenage girl reading way too deep into a text sent by a married woman. I hope that tommorow night goes off without a hitch. I'm very cautious and particular about who I allow into my space and into my home.

I think I'm going to put my flowers on the glass table in the foyer so that it's the first thing Fantasia sees when she walks in. Just to show her how much I appreciate her, of course.

What did you guys think of this chapter? I've never used emojis in my books before because I think it looks a bit childish, but I thought it appropriate for the purpose of the group chat.