Chapter Ninety Six

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Taraji's POV

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Taraji's POV

At some point after throwing Tempest out, I blacked out. I knew who I was and where I was, but I was completely unconscious of what my body was doing. When I came back to my right mind, I was sitting on the kitchen floor and there was smashed dishes all around me. There was a piece of glass by my foot showing my reflection with tears streaming down my face. I don't know what the hell happened, but I feel better than I did a few minutes ago. Or was it hours? I really don't know. I didn't realize that my name was being called until I looked up and saw my mom in the doorway, rushing over to me with panic in her eyes.

Donna: TJ, baby what happened? Your hand is bleeding badly!

Taraji: It is?

I looked down at my hand and there were tiny shards of glass sticking in my skin, blood pouring all over my fingers. It wasn't even painful. My mom ran upstairs, returning shortly with tweezers and a little wound-dressing kit. I stared straight ahead with a blankness as she used the tweezers to take the glass pieces out of my hand. My face never changed as she cleaned my huge cut with saline water and wrapped it up. She gripped my chin gently as she was squatting down so that we were eye level, her eyes searching mine for any inkling of emotion.

Donna: You did all of this?

I nodded my head slowly, looking past her frightened brown eyes at the living room wall. I could burn this entire house down right now and watch the flames flicker until smoke filled my lungs. That's how done I am with everything. Besides, it's not like I'm going to be living here for much longer anyway.

Donna: Why, baby? What happened? Where's Tempest?

Taraji: She's gone. In a perfect world she would be dead. But she's not dead. She's just...gone.

My voice dripped with monotony and indifference, my tone completely void of any feeling or sentiment. I really do wish that Tempest was dead. Then she wouldn't get another chance to try and hurt me again. I was going to give that little bitch the world, but she just wanted to take from me until I had nothing else. I was going to pay for her to go back to school. I was going to buy her a car so that she could get to school and work without depending on a ride- share or public transportation. Once she made enough money working, I was going to sell her my house at a way lower rate than it's worth just so that she wouldn't have to deal with the hassle of looking for a home. While I was thinking of doing all that for her, she was plotting a plan to destroy my life and make it her own. So, when I say that I wish she was dead, I mean it. If I had the mental strength to, I would kill her myself.

Donna: TJ, you're scaring me sweetheart. What happened between you and Tempest?

Taraji: She never wanted to be my sister. The only thing she wanted is my life. She told me straight up to my face what she was going to do.

Donna:*sighs* I'm so sorry, baby girl. This is exactly what I was afraid of happening. Now do you see why I wanted to protect you from that girl?

Taraji: Don't do that, momma. Don't turn this into a way to make yourself feel vindicated for lying to me. Everybody fucking lies. I'm so sick of being lied to.

Donna: What can I do to make you feel better? What do you need from me?

Taraji: I need you to leave, momma. I want to be alone.

Donna: I don't think that's such a good idea baby. You're in a lot of pain right now, and you've already caused so much destruction. You're gonna hurt yourself if-

Taraji: What was the point of asking me what I need from you if you're not going to give it to me? Please, go.

Her face was pain stricken, but I was too desensitized to care about how I was hurting her. She simply sighed and kissed my forehead before leaving. I wiped a lone tear that slid down my cheek. I unwrapped the bandage around my hand and removed the gauze pad, allowing the blood to run. I need to feel pain. I need to feel something, anything, because the step after is a complete break down, and I can't afford that right now. I know what I'm capable of. I know the kind of damage that I can do, which is why I hate being taken out of my character and being forced to do the damage I know I can do. I don't like showing that side of myself, it's ugly and scary. I've only displayed a glimpse of it in my past fights with Fantasia. I thought that I reached my breaking point with Brandee's death, but it's like my breaking point always changes because I always have more pain to be put through. I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, not knowing if I wanted to talk to my dad or Brandee.

Taraji: Hey, B. I don't know how Fantasia would feel about me turning to you instead of her, but I can't find it in myself to care about that right now. As you can probably guess, something bad happened to me, because something bad is always happening to me. My sister didn't really want to be my sister. She wanted to be me, and she was going to take everything from me that I hold dear. She told me all about it. Am I supposed to give her grace because she just told me about the knife instead of actually using it to stab me in the back? I threw her out knowing that she doesn't have anywhere to go, but I'm not going to apologize for it. Is it better up there than down here? It has to be. There are no scheming sisters up there. People like you and me don't belong down here, I guess that's why Heaven couldn't wait for you. If you were here right now, I bet you would be doing everything you can to comfort me. You would make me feel like it will all be ok even if I don't believe that it will be. I'm tired of being a good person when only bad things happen to me. I miss you so much, B.

I closed my eyes, crying against my will. I need to get out of here and find a drink. When I opened the door to walk out of it, I found Danielle standing there.




Y'all aren't getting tired of this book, are y'all? I know it's been getting dragged out for a long time. I thought that it would only be 100 chapters but now it's looking like it's going to surpass 100.

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