The Act|| Tarasia

Chapter Twenty Three

Taraji's POV

When I came to my senses and realized just what I was doing, I pulled myself back from Dani. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at me, her thumb rubbing her now swollen lips. We both were at a loss for words. Neither one of us knew what to do next or how to move forward. I looked down at my lap, fiddling with my hands as Dani slowly backed away from me. I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't even look at her. Her husband and her child are just a few doors down from me, and I kissed her like they didn't exist. I just potentially destroyed our friendship, and she was the only real friend I had left amongst this group.

Taraji: Dani...I-I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. God, I'm a fucking mess right now. I'm really sorry, Danielle.

Danielle: It's ok. You're just going through a rough time right now, and you don't know how to channel your energy. It's fine. I'm still here for you, but I think you need to be alone right now.

Taraji: Yeah, I think so too.

Dani held onto my hand for a spell and hugged me before leaving my room. I laid back with a huge sigh, staring up at the ceiling. In all honesty, my brain can't make sense of why I kissed her. I can barely comprehend the fact that it happened, and I'm the one who initiated it. I've been rejecting Fantasia all this time because she's a married woman, just for me to turn around and kiss a married woman. I'm losing my mind. It's probably already long gone at this point. I wouldn't blame Dani if she distanced herself from me after this or decided to just stop talking to me all together. I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired of giving people access to me who don't deserve it. I'm tired of my calmness being taken for weakness. I'm tired of being mad and hurt. I'm just tired. We start shooting tomorrow and I am far from the headspace I need to be in to work on a set amongst so many people. At this point I'm thinking of walking away from the movie. I've never been one to let drama come before my money and my craft, but I probably won't be paid my full worth anyway, so what's the point? I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't want to be around people. I just want to crawl into a dark hole and stay there forever where nobody can reach me. Mentally, I'm already there.

I ordered enough room service that would make it unnecessary for me to leave my room for the next few hours, and I put my phone on do not disturb. I'll have to come out of hiding tomorrow, but tomorrow I don't have to be Taraji. I get to be Shug Avery. Shug Avery isn't fighting with the woman who claimed to love her and be her friend. Shug Avery isn't being harassed by her ex. Shug Avery didn't kiss a married woman. Shug Avery's life is a walk in the park compared to Taraji's. I wish that I didn't have to be Taraji.

I started to doze off when someone knocked on the door. Thinking that it was room service, I quickly got up and crossed the room. Instead of a rolling cart full of silver trays housing delicious lobster tails and steaks, it was sadly just Fantasia. As soon as I registered that she was actually standing in front of me with all the audacity and gall in the world, I got pissed off all over again. Before I knew it, my palm was colliding with her cheek. It sounded like a gunshot going off. I knew that her face had to be hurting because my hand was stinging like hell. Her pretty face was now decorated with a red print of my hand. She slowly turned her head that flew to the side from the impact, her fingers lightly caressing her cheek that was already cut from the glass I threw at her. She smiled like I had just kissed her instead of bitch slapping the dog shit out of her. She's a psycho, and I know that she's a psycho, so why do I keep feeding the monster? She's like crack. I'm fully aware how horrible she is for my health, but I can't stay away from her. Even when I try to distance myself from her, she always finds her way to me, and I make it easy for her.

Fantasia: Do it again, harder.

Taraji: Get the fuck back to your room or wherever the hell you came from and leave me alone, crazy bitch.

I tried to close the door on her, but she stopped it with her foot and pushed her way in. Truthfully, I didn't put up much of a fight. I don't have much fight left in me, not for the rest of the day or the night.

Fantasia: I'm surprised Dani isn't here.

Taraji: She left after I kissed her.

Fantasia: You did what?

I smirked to myself, knowing that she would be triggered by the information. I want to hurt her as much as she hurt me. As a matter of fact, I want to hurt her worse. I've never been a vengeful person before, but she's bringing the cruel bitch out of me. I'm simply taking the knife that she stabbed me in the back with and putting it in her chest, right where her cold, black heart is. I can't even bring myself to feel bad for what I'm doing because of how much she has violated me and disrespected my boundaries. I'm going to make her sick off the taste of her own medicine.

Taraji: I kissed Dani. How many times do you need to hear me say it? I kissed Dani.

Fantasia: What happened to not wanting to come between families and marriages? What happened to holier than thou Taraji?

Taraji: I don't know. What I do know is that her lips were soft as fuck. I wish that you could have seen it, just so that you can understand that even if there was nobody else, it still wouldn't be you.

Fantasia: Oh so now you want to be tough? Where was this energy when Kelvin was beating your ass, knocking your head between the washer and the dryer? You should be thanking God that I'm even giving you any attention. You're damaged goods to everybody but me. You have no idea what you want, but I know exactly what you need.

She pushed me down on the bed, hovering over me. Her brown eyes were almost black because of how dark they had grown with lust and anger. Even though she was saying the most degrading things to me that she could think of, my pussy was soaked through my panties for her. I wanted to run, but I also didn't want to miss out on the experience that was coming. Tears rolled down my cheeks as she started taking my clothes off, and I didn't even know why I was crying. She paused, her entire demeanor softening only a little as she stared down at me.

Fantasia: Are you ok with this?

Taraji: Does it matter? You're obviously determined to get what you want no matter what.

Fantasia: What I want is for you to want this, too. I'm going to ask you again. Are you ok with this?

Taraji: Yes. Just make me forget about everything.

Fantasia: I got you, T.

I fully understood that what we were about to do was going to change both of our lives, and it was hard to tell in the moment if the changed would be for the better or the worse, but a change was surely coming. I couldn't find it in myself to care about the consequences. She's probably going to get more pleasure out of this than I am, but at least I'm getting something. In the back of my mind, I still see her husband's face.