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Taraji's POV
After an agonizing two months of waiting and going back and forth in my mind about if I'm good enough, it is finally time to start shooting The Color Purple. There's no turning back now. The ink is dry on my contract. Blitz and the production team emailed my people my shooting schedule. Now it's time to put in the work. Words can't describe how excited and nervous I am for what about to happen. I haven't seen most of the cast since Oprah's brunch. Getting to work with Colman Domingo will be a valuable learning experience for sure, and I'm ready to see what the newer girls like Halle Bailey and Phylicia Pearl Mpasi bring to the table. I already know that with so much black talent, life on set is going to be an equally fun and spiritually fulfilling one. This is also the first time that I'm going to be seeing Fantasia since the night I made the mistake of getting into bed with her. Even though nothing happened between us, just the fact that we were both thinking about it was enough to force me to take a step back. We distanced ourselves from each other, but it was a difficult thing to do because of our mutual friendship with Danielle. Every time Danielle wanted to hang out with the both of us at the same time, I always came up with a new excuse as to why I couldn't. At one point, I started running out of excuses and I left our group chat.
Distancing myself from Fantasia gave me the opportunity to grow closer to Dani, and I had the most fun, enlightening time getting to know her on a deeper level and learning her story. I believe that women would be a lot less competitive and hateful towards each other if they had more women like Danielle in their lives. She's a true girl's girl, and I can't wait to see her come alive on screen as Sofia. I can't see anyone else playing her. Like Sofia, Danielle is very sure of herself and independent. Her biggest passion, even bigger than acting, is being a mother to her baby girl. As unfortunate as the whole situation is, I don't think I ever would have given my friendship with Dani this much attention if I didn't drift away from Fantasia. I just hope that when we see each other on set we can handle ourselves like trained professionals. I've been in the game for a long time, so I know what I need to do. But what about what I want to do? What I want to do...can't be seen before God's watchful eyes. I had to get away from her. She was too intoxicating. How could I want something so bad for me? If I would have given in to both of our desires, I would have compromised all of my morals and everything that makes me the woman I am. I'm too damaged to love anyone, anyway. I only would have hurt her. I did her a favor by icing her out. Now she can focus on things that are good for her, like her family. Not me. I'm not good for anybody. I would be horrible for her.
I was currently having drinks with Danielle at this low-key, but still exclusive lounge. I was vibing and having a good time with her until I saw Fantasia walk in. I gripped my glass, my eyes following Fantasia's every move as she made her way over to us. She looked good, smaller but still thick and full-figured. She was smiling, but the twinkle in her eyes fizzled out when she saw me. I didn't know she would be here and she didn't know that I would be here. We were both blindsided. I put my drink down, throwing a sideways glare to Danielle.
Taraji: You invited her?
Danielle: Duh, she's our friend. The three us never hang out together anymore. It's always me having to split my time between you both, and I'm tired of doing that. Did you guys get into a fight or something that I don't know about?
Taraji: No, of course not. We've just been drifting because of work and stuff. I've been really busy creating new products for TPH.
Danielle: Taraji, from one actress to another, you can't lie to me.
I was about to respond, but the sight of Fantasia standing before us made me close my mouth. She doesn't need to know that I've been talking about us. I'm an actress, I should be able to keep my cool and pretend like her very presence isn't bothering me. Danielle greeted her with her usual loud giggle-scream combo, and hugged her and kissed her cheek. Fantasia returned the gesture, but when she got to me, she hesitated. She settled for giving me a meaningless side-hug. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life in her arms. She smells like home in a way that I can't explain- just sweet and warm. How could I be so cold to someone so warm? Where I'm hard, she's soft. Where she's a drizzle, I'm a rainstorm. We would never work. We would probably end up killing each other.
Fantasia: Hi, Raj. It's been a minute. You look really good.
Taraji: Thank you. So do you. I mean it, you look beautiful.
We stood face to face, staring at each other for a lingering second. I think we both forgot that Danielle was there until she waved her hand in our faces, snapping us out of a trance.
Danielle: Earth to T and Tasia. What the hell is wrong with y'all? First y'all act like y'all hate each other, now it's like y'all in love or some crazy shit like that. If y'all gone be acting like this, I'm gonna need another drink.
Dani pushed past us, going to the bar. I thought about following her, but that would have looked bad. I don't want Fantasia to think that I'm phased by her presence, even if I am boiling over with heat on the inside. She's just so sexy. I love the rasp in her whispery voice. I love the way that all her clothes hug her flawless figure. I love all the tattoos painted into her dark skin. There's not one unattractive thing about her, except for the fact that she has a husband and a family.
Fantasia: So, what have you been up to?
Taraji: The same old, same old. What about you?
Fantasia: I've been putting together a little concert, just something small and intimate because I feel like I never perform enough in LA. It's going to be tomorrow night. If you can make it, I would love for you to come.
Taraji: That's kinda short notice. Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Fantasia: Because you haven't been talking to me.
Taraji: If I didn't take the initiative to put some space between us, we would have done something that we both would regret.
Fantasia:*rolls eyes* Whatever, T. Stop making shit complicated, and just say you'll come.
Taraji: I don't even have anything to wear.
Fantasia: Stop lying. You could wear a trash bag and still be the finest woman in the room. If you don't want to come, just say that. You're full of excuses.
Taraji: It's not even like that. Fuck it, I'll be there.
Fantasia: Good, because I got you two front row tickets and backstage passes.
Taraji: Who's the other one for?
Fantasia: Whoever you want it to be for, as long as it isn't some super thick chocolate bitch with tattoos.
I rolled my eyes, letting out a small chuckle that I didn't really want her to hear. She's so possessive and I'm not even hers yet. She acts as if her being married isn't a huge dealbreaker. It's like I care more about her husband than she does. It scares me that she doesn't give a damn. She seems determined to get what she wants until she decides that she doesn't want it anymore. I won't make it easy for her. If she wants to go this hard, I'm going to make her sweat. She's getting a lot bolder, and her voice seems to have a little more bass in it. She's coming after me hard, and I'm afraid that she's eventually going to get me. It's like she told me the last time I saw her- I would let her take me.
