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Taraji's POV
Fantasia sat at the edge of my bed, putting her clothes on, while I remained laying down and staring up at the ceiling. No words were spoken from either one of us. We shouldn't have had sex. We should have communicated openly, but it seems like the only language we understand is body language. I shouldn't blame her for everything that happened today, because at the end of the day her feelings about me and Danielle are somewhat valid, but it's just easier to blame her than to accept the fact that I've possibly been having an emotional affair with Dani this whole time and I didn't realize it. An emotional affair is worse than a sexual one. It's like I'm sharing parts of myself with Danielle that should only belong to Fantasia. I wish I could explain that to my fiancé, but she doesn't listen to reasoning. She lashes out first and asks questions later. We lost a real, ride-or-die friend because of our toxicity. I thought that we were growing, but it seems like old habits truly do die hard, because we're right back at square one, a place we worked so hard to move past just to end back up in again.
Taraji: I think we should go to couple's counseling before the wedding.
Fantasia: Because of Danielle?
Taraji: What happened with Danielle is just one bullet point on our long list of relationship problems. We're regressing instead of growing, and when we get married, I want to make sure that we're making the right decision. I'm not walking down that aisle until we go to therapy together. You can deny it all you want, but we desperately need it. Your jealousy and my shitty communication skills are going to destroy us if we don't fix the problem now. I don't want to marry you just to get a divorce , Tasia. I love you and I want to figure this crazy thing called life out with you, but we need help baby.
She paused her actions of putting her clothes on and turned around to look at me. Her eyes were soft and regretful, like she was realizing how right I was and how much it bothered her that we needed someone else to repair the damage we've done to each other. And to Danielle.
Fantasia: I'm scared. What if the therapist makes us realize things about each other that break us apart? What if they say that we don't need to be together.
Taraji: If we allow something like that to break us up, then we truly don't need to be together. But that's not going to happen because you and I were meant for each other. Counseling can be a safety net for us. It will be a good thing for us. You've got to buy into it, or else it will never work.
Fantasia: Fine, but I get to pick the therapist. We don't need another Stephanie incident.
She stopped what she was doing all together to come lay down beside me and get on my MacBook to find a couple's counselor in our area. I laid my head on her shoulder, my eyes scanning the computer screen. I zoned out, my thoughts going to Danielle. The way that she left was so devastating, but I don't blame her for doing it. We have bled her dry of all her energy, and she needs to save a piece of herself for herself and her own family. I don't want to believe that we've truly lost her. We don't need to give her space right now. We need to show her how much she is loved and appreciated by both of us. As mean as Fantasia is to her, I know that she adores Danielle. That's why she goes so hard, because she feels so strongly for her. We have to do something big to make Danielle see how much we want and need her in our lives.
Taraji: We need to make it up to Danielle somehow. I don't know what we're going to do, but it has to be a grand gesture. I don't ever want her to question our love for her again. I want her at the wedding.
Fantasia: I agree.
Taraji: You do? Really?
Fantasia: Yes. It's not Danielle's fault that your line of communication is more open with her than with me. That's something that we have to figure out in therapy, but Danielle shouldn't suffer because of it. We're not worthy of a friend like her, and maybe she is better off without us, but we can't let her go without trying.
Taraji: So what are we gonna do?
Fantasia: We should throw a Danielle appreciation party. We can get Denis and Freeya involved with the planning. We'll invite everybody from "The Color Purple" cast and all her closest friends and family. I'll write a song for her to sing to her at the party.
Taraji: And let me guess, I'll be stuck with the actual party planning?
Fantasia: Exactly. We work so well as a team.
My mind was already racing with ideas. We can have the party right here at my house. I'll get in contact with Denis and learn about Danielle's favorite foods so that I can get it catered. I can get decorations in her favorite color with her pretty face covering everything. I'll get shirts made with her face on them and all the guests will have to wear them. I have no clue what we're going to gift her, but it has to be even bigger than the party. If it's space and distance that she truly wants, then we'll give it to her, but not trying to fight for her at all would be a huge mistake.
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Fantasia's POV
As soon as I got home, I started working on my song for Danielle. Out of me and Taraji, I have the most apologizing and making up to do to her. I don't know why it's so easy for me to explode on her instead of just accepting the fact that she's better for Taraji in some areas than I am. A friendship is supposed to be about give and take, but all we've done is take while Danielle has given so much. She literally gave her life for me. There's no amount of apologies that can make things right, but I can try with this song. I guess I'm jealous of her, and I'm just now realizing that my anger stems from envy. I'm envious of how she can reach Taraji in a way that I can't. I'm envious that Taraji is more comfortable showing Danielle the rawer, darker parts of herself than she is with me. I'm envious that Taraji is obviously attracted to her and she refuses to accept it. But none of that is Danielle's fault. Taraji and I probably wouldn't even be together right now if it weren't for Danielle. We don't deserve her, but we need her, and we would be stupid to not try and win her friendship back. I know that her name is going to come up in our therapy sessions.
