blankcanvas12 @nikamuhlismywife
When I was told I'd be on the bench today I had a mixture of shock, excitement and an overwhelming sense of happiness. I think the first person I called was Lauren, she's been there for the whole process. Since I tore my ACL, till my surgery, to my first steps and now what might be my first match back playing after a long 270 days. Three quarters of a year I've been off, around 9 months.
My physio always said that if I was still scared I would tear my ACL then I wasn't ready, and that the most important thing in the recovery is letting go of the fear that it would re-tear.
When I torn it I think I just knew. The medical stuff was just the confirmation but I knew. I knew that it would be a long recovery time, I knew that I wouldn't be able to do the sport I love and I knew that my life was going to get ten times harder. I knew I had to watch my team do everything they are and I knew that it would hurt not being able to watch them play but I had to, I had to and have to.
Lauren was practically my saint once I torn it, she helped me straight after the game, she even got herself subbed off so she could be with me. Lauren also helped me before surgery and after, she made me keep going to the sessions even when I wanted to quit and to be honest I think she's the reason I'm playing today.
I'm just staring out the window for the short remainder of the journey to United. Laurens sat next to me, Chloe and Alex sat opposite us. They're all talking about god knows what but all I want to do is stare out a window.
It feels surreal getting back out there but then again a part of me doesn't. Everyone expects me to bounce back like the flash or something. They forget I'm human and it's as if they expect me to be playing at the same level I was before my injury, they've done the same with Beth, Viv and Leah. It's crazy, an ACL injury could be career ending for some and it's just generally a long period of time where you do everything you hate. Then you finish that part of it and they expect you to be perfect again, it doesn't work like that and people need to learn and understand that.
Hempo put a hand on my knee as if knowing that I was going too far in my thoughts, I don't know why I let it go that far but before my ACL they seen me as the lioness who helped win the euros or whatever and then they all felt sorry for me.
I leaned my head onto Laurens shoulder and slowly began talking to the three as I felt my nerves back away for a little. We needed up trying to play UNO. Trying to be the key word, we're all super competitive as you might know so it's definitely not going to end well but it is what it is.
Before today I never knew how completive UNO could get and just as we was about to go for another round after I won we arrived at the stadium. We all got up from our seats and slowly followed the rest, my hand slipping into Laurens. which caused her to tightly grasp it.
It's as if Lauren always knows when I need her because whenever I do she's just there. I put my headphones on as Lauren done the same and we began walking in through the crowd and to our changing room, normally I would stop to talk to the fans but today I just can't. My full focus needs to be on the game.
Around 20 minutes in Manchester United scored a chip courtesy of Ella Toone, to be honest I'm glad she scored it. Ella's just looked so drained lately and now it's like she's getting her Tooney magic and spark back. We may be on different teams but we play together in the lionesses and are actually good friends so it's amazing seeing her so happy.
I watch as the kick off started again with passes short and long being handed out. United just couldn't get the ball. Eventually it was crossed into the box by Kelly and Lauren made an amazing header. As soon as it began again the whistle was signalled signalling the end of the first half. I was told by Gareth that I should go warm up as I'll be making my comeback soon. Even though Lauren has just been running around she came with me and done small parts of the warm up with me, the crowd cheered when they seen I was warming up.
After a long half time we began play again, this time I was on for Kelly. I would say I've been playing for around twenty minutes now so it's about 65 minutes in when Lauren got the ball and sprinted down the wing, defenders not being able to mark her.She let in a beautiful low cross which I managed to slide into causing it to hit the back of the goal.
I instantly ran over to her jumping up, letting her catch me. "You done it love. You done it. You've made the perfect comeback." Lauren whispered into my ear.
"All thanks to you." I whispered back on the verge of tears.
3-1 Manchester City, my first game back and my first goal back.
We all restarted and not much else happened, after the game I ran over to Lauren, talking her into a hug which we stayed in talking to all the fans, Lauren kissing my head every once in a while.
"You done amazing." My beautiful girlfriend said to me as we walked back inside, her arm around my shoulders.
"All thanks to you. Plus you done more than me." I responded, rather quickly, which caused Lauren to kiss my head while giving me a small glare.
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Lauren said while glaring a hole through my skull before giving me a kiss and pulling me back into a hug.
Once we was all back on the coach I scrolled through instagram for a bit before making a post.
It's a picture of me and Lauren, then me Lauren, Alex and Chloe then one of the whole team. I put the caption as 'couldn't have done it without my family.'
It instantly got thousands of likes, people following me obviously waiting for the post but I can't care less right now. The adrenaline's still in me. The surreal experience of being back on the pitch couldn't feel any better.
"I love you Hempo." I said randomly, thinking about all Lauren's done for me just made me think that all of this was because of Lauren. I mean she was so patient with me.
"I love you too (Y/n/n)." She whispered into my ear, dragging me into a hug and not letting go. Thats how we stayed until we had to get off the coach and it was like heaven, a peace of sanctuary.
