You know what I'll never get? School. I get that GCSEs are 'important', but I don't get why that should take away my normal life. Schools are a living hell right now. Between starting my final year of high school and being called out in the corridor because my mums famous, it's awful.
People don't get that I don't want to be associated to all these different things because of my mum either, I like making people learn about me before they have opinions about me if that makes sense but they don't ever do that if they know my mum plays for West Ham.
I leaned against the cool brick wall of the school playground, under a shelter considering like normal it was hammering it down with rain, scrolling through my phone, trying to drown out the noise of laughter and gossip swirling around me, it's a big topic here I guess. Me. Every now and then, I'll catch the glances—whispers behind cupped hands, the occasional sneer thrown my way. It was the price I had to pay for having a mum who's a famous footballer. Growing up, you always wish for fame, but as soon as you're old enough to understand and you are famous, it isn't so great. I'm always worried that what you're doing is wrong or that you're not enough. It's a difficult way to live.
With a sigh, I quickly shoved my phone back into pocket and away from the class where my last lesson was held, the sports room. PE was my escape... or is, I don't know anymore, but even that was tinged with pressure. My PE teacher had all but declared me a prodigy, pushing me to my limits as if having a famous mum who's a footballer wasn't enough. The pressure is becoming too much, and I can feel myself cracking.
"Hey, (Y/n/n), how was your day?" I was asked by mum as soon as I got into the car after my short walk. I don't like getting picked up outside of school. It will cause more trouble, so I walk for about ten minutes before I get in the car.
"Hey," I replied, forcing a smile despite the weight on my shoulders. I can't let her get more worried about me. She's busy enough as it is.
"Sam sent me a text earlier, said you wanted to go to the Halloween dance? Everyone's going apparently, if you want to go, you can, " She said with a warm smile.
"Yeah, heard. Don't think I'll be going, though."
"Why not? It'll be fun! You could wear that crazy costume you impulsively brought, you wont have too many of these opportunities left in school. You're finishing next year, remember."
I laughed, knowing that my plan of showing up as a giant avocado had been a joke in passing. "Yeah, right. Last year, half the school thought I was a walking salad. I'm not up for more rumours."
Mum furrowed her brow. "You can't let them get to you. Just be yourself. If they don't appreciate you as who they are, then they aren't good people. Besides, you've got a whole team to support you, and if you ever call, we're all come running to help."
"Being myself doesn't seem to count for much when everyone expects the famous daughter to shine or whatever." I yelled, all the pressure becoming too much. However, to my surprise, I wasn't yelled at. Mum just calmly responded.
She shook her head as if trying to change her mind. "They're just jealous, you know? You're cool, you're beautiful and you're amazing at football! Besides, it's your last year. Live a little!"
"Easier said than done," I muttered, feeling the walls closing in. The thought of attending a dance where everyone would judge me felt unbearable.
"I know it is, and I know everything will be getting more difficult, but I'm proud of you, remember that."
I nod quietly, not wanting to speak in case my voice breaks or the tears filling my eyes becomes more evident and rolls down my cheeks.
"I don't want to be different anymore, I don't want to be seen as different." I said, my voice breaking, I just want to be (Y/n), yet no one ever wants to see me that way." I finished as tears began rolling down my cheeks.
I expected to get told to grow up, yet instead, I got a nod of understanding, my mums eyes filled with empathy. For the first time, I didn't feel like just the famous girl or a kid who had to live up to her mums crazy expectations. I felt human.
As we got out the car, I finally realised that school might not change overnight, but in that moment, I feel a little bit freer, a little bit more able to deal with all the rumours and everything else that comes with having a famous parent. Maybe I could finally let go of my fear of not being enough and living life a little, and I would be happier. Be freer and have nothing holding me back.
And maybe, just maybe, the Halloween dance wouldn't be so terrifying after all. Maybe I could talk to others more and ignore the rumours, maybe then I would feel more welcome and all the troubles of life will become silent.
A/n: I feel like this got wayyyyy too deep 😭
