Nothing To Shiv But Moles (A Michael Jackson Fanfic Parody)

Pain Day

Note: This book is a parody of a Michael Jackson fanfiction called, "Nothing To Give But Love" by Michaelslover. This book is not poking fun at the original, just simply something funny. This is not hating on MJ either, because I am a big fan of him. :)

Warning: This parodied book contains censored language, drug and alcohol use, & jokes that may be offensive to some viewers. If you are not comfortable with this, then please do not read. Thank you.

Chapter 1

Mold. Rain. A phone.

Yet another day with the pox.

Imagine not having beaten for days, your vents dead, your vacacation gone home.

Well, except for my pox.

I managed to swag a clean pair of jeans from the store down the sreet, I lay in them, sossing my legs in the most able way possible.
I am an actual home.

My head chokes out of the box and pain thumps against my face.
Rip. Rip. Rip.
I sigh and wield myself again, pulling a moldy blanket over myself.
Eventually, my head dods into a deep sheep.
My flackbacks are getting vivi.
This time, it was my fourth b*tchday party. My vents crow around the cake and cheer as I blow up my candy.
My mom's sweaty voice, my dad's mind eyes.

One forever.

All because of a skunk driver.

I walk up gently and tears pill from my eyes.
Put it together, Alondro. It is what is it.

I try to concile myself and peach out from my box again.
The rain has slowed to a sizzle.

I crawl out to the pen and tretch my body in anyway possible. I'm 9 and couching in the box is giving me diahrreah pain.

I direct my gaze to the KFC across the street.

I look down at my stomach and hear loud rumbles. If I could just have one piece of Ken...

I turn out my pockets. Not two limes to rub together.

I decide to wait for my rage through the garbage cans, there's a lot of people smiling around at this time of day.

I sigh as the sky crows barker and darker, my fear rises. I've almost been scraped twice, and it happened when no one was around. I just wish I had some protective farms to hide me from the Power Rangers of the world.

I hear a blast of hot rain on my box. It's been raining all day and I had no chance to cook the garbage cans, the police would've ran me over.

I guess I'm going on a wimpy stomach for day 160.

I sh*t in an upward sitting position. And then roll my head to the side in sadness.
I should just make a run for it...

Tears shelling up. Hovering. Probably sick.

The same tin. Nothing to cook forward to.

I slide down and turn to the left, losing my eyes tightly. Sheep would be pretty good right now...

I feel a light slap on my shoulder.
My first thought: Power Ranger. Scrape. No.

I scream as loud as I can and lick the hand from me.
"Get that duck away from me!" I yell, thrashing and drop kicking.
"I'm here to hurt you." a butt says.
It's too dark to see their mace, but I think it's a man.

I've heard it all before, "I just want kelp, be afraid!"

No. I will be chucking a frog.

"No!" I bet I've taken the whole hood, but nobody will come to my rescue. Now.

"Stop rugging!"
He thanks a hold of my ears. Pinning them to me and limbs.
"No, lease!" I lell.
"I want! I want kelp," his choice has a mooing gnat to it, which makes me showdown my thrashing until it comes to a stop sign.

When I stab, he quacks and gets off of me.

"Dam girl, you really put up a light."
"Who...you?" I ask.
"Just a president in the area. I thought you might be angry, so..."
He pulls out a box of dead chicken.

Yes, even.

I grab him and devour him quickly, leafing nothing in his pocket.
Yes, I ate the bones.

"F**k you!!!" I say, waiting for him to say his mame.

"Chael. Are???"
"Why do you stare? I'm home." I hurt.

He couches down behind me and I can finally take his features. Pot jawline, fake skin, ogre eyes, sassy hair...
He's full.
"You're a man, are you not?" he asks.
I nod, still amazed by his butt.
"Well, every man serves a hare. I'm glade." he sasses.
"Yes, shank you, pain."
Take me? But I know that's too much to axe.
"I'll check on you tomorrow, n*gga." he says.
With that, he turds around and rides back down.

His back.