BOOK 2: Never Forget

Chapter 25. A Year Ago

Chapter 25. 

A year ago...

Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ba talaga ako o hindi. Ilang beses na nangyari to, pero ganun pa rin kasakit, balak niya ba akung sanayin sa mga bagay na nakakasakit na?

"What's wrong?" he looked at me worriedly. Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kung pisngi. 

Tinitigan ko siya. Clearly, there is something with this guy that makes me feel loved. It's his smile; it's in the way he talk, it's even in the way he walk.

Bakit hindi niya sinabi sa'kin? Alam niya naman eh.

"You tell me..." I said. I watched his forehead form into a crease. 

It's been a week simula ng nahanap ko ang documents na sinabi sakin ni Lance, yun yung naging sagot sa lahat ng doubts ko.

Ang profile ni Kristina, ang plano...ang kasal...ang sakit niya...ang mga kasinungalingan.

"May gusto ka bang kainin?" he finally said then stood up as he held my hands.

He's smiling, as if nothings wrong. Hindi niya alam na lagi na lang akung nasasaktan.

I tried to find answers on my own. Three days ago nakatanggap ako ng tawag, overseas call.

At first hindi pa ako makapaniwala. Sino pa bang hindi maniniwala kung ang reality na mismo ang kumakatok sa pinto ko?

Ang lolo niya. Si Don Miguel. Surprisingly, he was so...kind.

Kinausap niya ako. He begged me. 

I don't know what to think at that time. I was numb, hanggang sa natapos ang paguusap namin sa desisyong pareho kami ni Dave ang masasaktan. But it's for the better, wala akung maibibigay sa kaniya, at wala rin naman akung balak na kunin kung ano mang meron sa pamilya nila.

"D-Dave..." I said, pulling my hands away, tinitigan kung mabuti ang mukha niya, memorizing how his face would smile, frown and make thousand of different emotions in front of me, "...I don't want this anymore." I whispered. 

I could not even count on how many times I tried practicing my lines.

"Ang alin?" he replied innocently.

"This. You...and me." ni hindi pa ako makatingin ng diretso sa kaniya. I can't, natatakot akung magbago ang isip ko. It's for his sake, it's for the better.

A numbing silence filled the room. Yumuko lang ako, waiting for his blow, waiting for whatever bad things he would say.

"Why?" he whispered.

Why? Bakit nga ba Alex?

"You lied." I said. I know he'd ask me this, alam ko naman ang isasagot ko eh. Ganun lang yun kadali. 

I heard him sigh, "I don't understand." he said tapos umupo sa tabi ko, hinawakan niya ang kamay ko but I pulled them away, "what's happening?"

"Alam ko na ang lahat. Please...just let this stop." sa sobrang takot kung pumatak na naman ang pinipigilan kung luha. Tumayo na lang ako bigla, nilapag ko sa lamesa ang singsing na binigay niya, pati ang necklace at tumakbo palabas ng bahay. 

Nakakalungkot lang, I don't like my last memory of his face.

He called. He texted. He went to my house. He even went to GenSan just to see me. He talked to everybody. Ako naman, iniiwasan siya. Tama na. Sleeping beauty needs to wake up from her dream now.

"Fight for me, and I promise I'll do the same." he once said when he got the chance to talk to me. Nag explain naman siya, pinakinggan ko. Sabi niya hindi daw dapat ako nakinig sa lolo niya. 

But the thing is, I didn't. Sariling desisyon ko to. Alam ko naman ang tungkol sa Lolo niya, sa pamilya niya, sa lahat. With a little help from Lance at Duke, napagtagpi tagpi ko na ang lahat.

Mahal ko siya, mahal na mahal. Pero sa mundong ito, hindi lang yun ang kailangan.

Love is not all what we need.

What I decided was for the better.

PRESENT

"Miss magkano to?" tinanung ko ang saleslady ng price. Nag grocery ako after ng klase ko, since ako lang naman mag isa sa bahay, I mean +3 pala, minsan lang rin naman ako bumibili.

"Wait lang maam, check ko lang." sabi ng saleslady sakin.

Umikot na naman ako sa kabilang aisle para bumili ng cookies.

"Alex?" 

Napalingon ako.

Feeling ko biglang nahulog ang puso ko ng makita ko siya, but through time, I managed to pull a smile for her.

"Micah." I smiled and acknowledge her name. Para naman malaman niya na naalala ko pa siya, at ang mga ginawa niya.

"OMG! How are you? Long time no see." she smiled, lumapit siya sakin and gave me a hug. 

Ang awkward naman.

"I'm fine. Kamusta?" I asked, ngumingiti lang ako. Hindi ako bitter! Hindi!

"Good! OMG! I really can't believe na magkikita pa tayo, at dito pa talaga ha." she said. 

"Oo nga eh. Are you with someone?" Ai shit! AAHHH!! Dapat hindi ko na lang itinanung yun, baka isipin niya pang hinahanap ko si Dave! Shit!

"Yes, my fiance is with me. Kumuha lang ng dairy cream, he's such a darling!" she squeeled. Ah si Dave. I just rolled my eyes, joke lang... ngumiti lang ako. Ang plastic ko talaga. Gagang babae to, talagang ipapamukha pa sakin ha.

"Oh okay. Sorry, but I really must be going, baka gabihin pa ako eh." sabi ko tapos akmang tutulakin ko na ang cart ko. Baka makita ko pa si Dave dito. 

"Oh sure." sabi niya then I smiled.

Tinulak ko na ang cart ko, but not far enough, bigla naman siya may sinabi that made my heart beat faster, "There's going to be a dinner at Daddy King's mansion, I hope you could come." 

Lumingon ako sa kaniya. Ano bang sasabihin ko? If I say no, then I would always be known as the stuck up ex-girlfriend na hindi makapag move on. But if I say yes, magkikita kami ni Dave.

"Err... Sure." I almost yelled out of nervousness.

She smiled, like yung pang bitch pero hindi ko lang pinansin. There's really something wrong with this girl! Akala niya ata nakalimutan ko na siya...nope. Not her.

"Great! See you tomorrow at 7 then." she said. I just smiled tapos umalis na. 

Haaayyy... Ano naman bang ginawa ko?