Hope not • Chaelisa

*conversation and indecision*

Pov Roseanne Park

I felt the icy water come into contact with my skin and I curled up in my own arms; as much as I might catch the flu, I didn't really care. I wanted to feel alive somehow.

I looked around to see my sister and my parents playing animatedly with each other, and I smiled without realizing it. I knew that no matter how unwell I was, they would always be there to try to keep me going.

I'd been at my parents' house for almost three months, so many things had happened that I get confused when I start counting.

Lisa and I talked all night, literally all night because we stopped at five in the morning. She didn't bother to answer all my questions, even though the whole mess wasn't her fault, it crossed my mind that she didn't really want to end things between us.

Lisa's only answer was no, she made it clear that she would never walk away of her own free will, even more so after our first time. I smiled as I remembered that day, us together and alone, with no one looking at us to question us, just me and her.

I told her I forgave her for everything and we had to decide, Lisa and I put ourselves aside and left the group and the girls first. We knew it was all too crazy anyway, considering our company and the country we all lived in.

As much as I loved her like she couldn't breathe, I didn't want to get in the way of her career or that of the girls, and Lisa felt the same way. Of course, Jennie and Jisoo didn't accept our decision and kept trying to make us change, but Lisa and I agreed, so there was no turning back.

I would never forget everything, of course it would hurt for a long time, so we talked to the company director and asked for some kind of early vacation.

I wasn't going to be able to go ahead with the next shows and they agreed because if I carried on with the mood and the crying, the fans would start to think that the company was doing something, and well, in a way it did.

-Hey Rosie. -My sister called out to me and I smiled as she approached. -"Is everything all right? Do you want to talk?

-I'm fine baby, I'm just having a little think, don't worry. -I said, receiving a warm hug right there in the water.

-You're freezing, let's get something to drink on the sand. -I agreed and followed her out of the water, feeling my whole body shiver with the cold. My mother approached me in a thong and covered my arms.

-"The girls called me again, don't you want to say hi? They seem worried. -I took a deep breath and sat down on one of the chairs.

I hadn't touched my cell phone in a while, I didn't want to see anything or talk to anyone at the moment. But there were Jennie and Jisoo who were worried and didn't understand my sudden isolation, and I wondered if Lisa felt the same way.

She didn't go to her parents' house, she traveled to France and said she would stay there during our break, I didn't really understand, but I didn't want to get into it.

-I'm going to talk to them, the way I know these two, it would be possible for them to come here and answer me personally. -I laughed and my mother followed.

I picked up my cell phone, ignoring the thousand messages, and dialed Jennie's number. It only took one ring before the little girl answered.

-Rosie. -spoke from the other end and I smiled at the same time, I was missing them so much.

-Hey Nini, how are you?

-The question here is how are you, miss.

-I'm resting, thinking a bit. Nothing very encouraging.