Hope not • Chaelisa

*feelings*

Pov Roseanne Park

-Turn it up a bit. -I said, hearing my feedback a little too low, and my request was soon granted.

I used to rehearse my songs at least twice, the girls always thought I was too perfectionist in this respect but it was something I never got tired of doing.

Singing for me was as natural as breathing, of course dancing was important too, but singing was at the top of my priorities.

How one voice can pull in crowds from different cultures and genres. The more I sang, the more I knew I wanted to do it for the rest of my life.

I finished rehearsing my solo and went back downstairs to find the girls talking to the coach. I approached them and received their attention, trying my best to avoid contact with Lisa.

-It was great. -the older man said as he saw me approaching, and I smiled at the compliment. -Group rehearsal starts in a few minutes. -he said it last and then walked away.

-"Group rehearsal starts soon." -Jisoo spoke in a horrible imitation of the coach's voice, who had just walked away, and the three of us burst out laughing.

-Jisoo's in a bad mood today. -Jennie said, wrapping her arms around the brunette, who grimaced.

Lisa joined her, practically smothering Jisoo, who was trying her best to get away from the two of them. Most of the time we were like children in kindergarten, it was a way of relieving all the pressure of the tour.

Apart from the fact that being away from our families wasn't easy for any of us, we knew we'd always have another one.

I walked over to a chair and picked up a bottle of water from beside it. Just as I was about to drink, I heard the girls approaching again, Jennie and Lisa were exchanging affection while Jisoo came up to me looking bored.

-They never tire of making me look like a candle. -the brunette said, sitting on my lap facing me, and I grabbed her waist. -What happened?

-What do you mean? -I asked, pretending to be misunderstood.

-You're not going to play the fool with me, are you, Roseanne? -I let out a nasal laugh when I heard Jisoo speak.

-She asked me a question and I still don't know the answer. -I sighed heavily and leaned my head on his shoulder.

-"I can't stand this tension between you any longer, you and Lisa are so unbearably clingy and now you barely speak to each other, it's not right, Chae.

-I don't want to put my foot in it, I don't want to hurt her. -Jisoo suddenly stood up and looked at me seriously. -It's been a week now, Lisa doesn't go out with us anymore, she's down, don't you think you've hurt her?

As always, Jisoo knew what to say and how to say it, everything she said made you think, and she was right. But what was I going to do?" I stared at Jennie and Lisa in the corner and couldn't help feeling jealous, Jennie seemed to be the only one who could really cheer her up.

Maybe I wasn't missed that much.

I went into the dressing room for a bite to eat, before meeting the girls again for another rehearsal.

The show hadn't started yet, but our fans were already as excited as ever. My luck was that Lisa was just as professional as me on stage, and our interactions were so happy that it didn't even seem like we were apart.

I couldn't put into words how much it hurt, after all, Jisoo was right - she and I were a hoot most of the time and I missed it.

But I was still going over all those events, that was a statement and I left her standing alone without an answer.

-Let's go, girls, three minutes. -we heard the familiar voice and ran to the elevators, which soon went up.

Every show we did, even with the same songs, seemed different, the people, the vibe of the place, our happiness, everything changed.

And it would have been perfect if Lisa hadn't cried at Hope Not, I panicked and while the girls ran to hug her, I just stood there looking at the scene.

When the show was over and we all went downstairs, Lisa didn't go to the dressing room like she always did with us, she just disappeared.

-Rosé. -Jisoo spoke as we entered the dressing room and I knew what was coming.

-Don't start, Jisoo, I don't want to talk. -I sat down on one of the sofas and stared at the floor, feeling my chest tighten.

-You have to talk to her. -he started again.

-Wait, what's going on? -Jennie asked confused and we both stared at each other.

I nodded and Jisoo understood that only she knew about the whole situation.

-Nothing Jennie, everything's fine. -Jennie crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the two of us.

-"You have the nerve to lie to me, you've forgotten that I know you.

I breathed heavily, leaning back on the sofa and playing with my fingers.

-Lisa and Rosé had a disagreement. -Jisoo explained, not revealing the reason for it.

-I'd already noticed that, but you'd have to be an idiot not to notice the tension between the two of you. -What are you waiting for?

-That's none of your business. -I said nervously, still playing with my fingers.

-We're a group and this fight affects us, it is my business.

-Hey hey hey. -Jisoo softened the situation and we both looked at each other. -Stop it, we're a family, a family doesn't use that tone of voice.

I stood up, glared at them both and walked away, my head was too noisy for all that.

The security guards took me to the hotel and I thanked God we were in separate rooms. But when I got into the shower, I couldn't help but burst into tears.

It was all too much for me to bear, I knew that one day all those feelings that existed between me and Lisa would explode at any moment, I knew that I couldn't live without her, I couldn't go out without her, I couldn't do anything without her, and I knew that our relationship wasn't the same as the others.

But I was afraid to admit it, we'd only just started and we were already hurting each other.

I didn't want it to hurt so much, but I was sure I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that Lisa wasn't well because of me.

I put on a pair of denim shorts and a mini blouse and left my room, stopping in front of Lisa's room. I had no idea if she would welcome me, but I was going to try anyway.

I rang the doorbell several times but got no answer, so I went back to my room.

It was the hardest night I've ever spent.