Short stories

Himself 🖤💖

Tw: rape, abuse, inner child healing, inner teen healing (?)

In case you are unaware I have had PTSD for the last year going on to be two years in less than 6 months. This is a short story about my process/progress. I am finally onto the forgiveness unit, my therapist says most likely I will still have PTSD after I decide to forgive but it will help minimize it. Also if you are in the same boat as me please be aware that forgiveness does not mean you give them the peace of mind, they never have to know you forgave them. It's simply something to help give you peace of mind and is for yourself. So please give forgiveness a try, not for the person who did it but rather yourself. I'm constantly being told by my friends that I shouldn't have to forgive him, that I should keep reminding him until he is truly sorry. But my therapist told me that holding a grudge like that is not healthy. My father died because he held a grudge against both his family and the deity he had believed in for 18 years. So please hear my words, forgive them but only when you are ready and you do not have to tell them you forgive them simply do it to help yourself. Starting the process has helped me to be in the same room as him, his intimidation techniques don't work as well anymore because of me starting this process. Anyways onto the short story lol.

word count: 971

The boy sat curled up on himself leaned against the leg of the large chair "Sleepie..." he whispered out tugging on the tallers pant leg, they looked down at him with a soft expression pity filling his eyes. "Focus" scowled another, "don't let them touch you" it growled to Sleepie. "I know..." he whispered out to the teen. He looked down at the boy, his short brown hair and bright green eyes with their speckles of brown looking right into Sleepie's eyes. The boy climbed slowly to his feet, barely reaching the top of the large table the two were at, Sleepie sat with silent tears streaming down his face while a taller meaner looking person stood berating Sleepy, they looked just like the boy and Sleepie, but more mature. Scared, frightened, scarred from head to toe. "Teen..." Sleepie whispered observing the large model sat in front of them. "What." Teen growled out annoyed that Sleepie interrupted them. "The boy shouldn't see this... they shouldn't see what we must discuss..." Sleepie looked over towards the boy. "Boy... please, go play" Sleepie pleaded as the boy looked over the models "but I want to play with you! I'm a big boy you know." He said cheerfully, standing on his tiptoes to try and play with the brick walls that surrounded a small cottage in the middle of the table. A small model of Sleepie sat on a bed of flowers in a meadow, a sanctuary away from any harm. Surrounded by foxes, squirrels, trees, everything but human beings, no one to harm him. No one to hurt him ever again, "please boy... leave... we'll... we will play all together later. For now me and Sleepie must discuss boring grown up junk" teen said to the boy, compassion filling his voice. The boy nodded, running off away from the table and towards the meadow behind them, "do you think he remembers?" Sleepie asked the teen softly tears continuing to fall down his face. "No, and neither should you. I will protect you. I swear to it." Sleepie nodded staring at his character in the middle of the meadow. "I believe you, and I trust you." As he said this he pushed his chair back, stood up. And faced the teen, "now, I think the boy would like to play. Shall we play with him?" The teen smiled softly, guilt filling his eyes as he stared at the model of what they all wished they could have had. "Of course" the teen responded as he held onto Sleepies hand, a white light began to surround the two as they merged into one. Sleepie looked off towards the meadow ahead hearing the excited giggles of the boy, his inner child. He smiled as he could feel the once angered inner teen calm his anger, stop holding so much grief and anger. Beginning to let go and trust as Sleepie ran over to the boy. Laughing and playing tag, laying in the grass, playing with toys, swinging on rope swings, and everything they could think of. Until finally the boy ran to Sleepie laughing and giggling jumping into the olders arms as Sleepie swung him around. Laughter filling their ears until he too vanished into his body. The meadow cleared and Sleepie was met with his bedroom, the bright LED's colored to be a light blue, the sun shining through the window, the sound of blues clues playing on the TV as Sleepie looks towards a mirror he realizes he's no longer Sleepie, he's himself. Hes his real and true self, no longer hatred holding him down, sadness or depression no longer feeling as though his PTSD is ruling his life he can be who he really is living his life how he really wants to. And be the person he truly is, a junior in high school, not a small freshman who had been raped, not a small freshman who was abused so badly he could no longer feel genuine love, not a scared sophomore who was being terrorized by his rapist, he no longer was what his abuser made him to be. He was himself, he was strong, he was powerful, and he knew who he was. He was Keith, he was him.