NOCO ONESHOTS!!

Shared pain

Quick A/N: Decided not to discontinue this oneshot before March, just not going to post as much i guess? (BARE WITH ME, IM AN UNDECISIVE PERSON) 

This happens in TDA (thoughts are italic)

WARNING: This is angst!!! Swearing, mentions of suicide, and heavy self harm topics

 Cody's PoV

I was alone, in mine and Noah's hotel room, laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling. I was really not in the mood, I was too tired to go around the hotel with the rest of the peanut gallery, so I stayed in my room, alone. I knew that it was time for me to get up and out of the room, but really, I was trying to isolate myself today. I did not want to see anyone, not even Noah, and I love seeing Noah, he and his sarcasm are funny.

I sat up, and rubbed my eyes to maybe wake up. I got up and went into the bathroom, maybe a nice cold shower would wake me up. I closed the bathroom door, locking it just in case Noah came in the room to go to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. I had baggy eyes and messy hair. With each second I looked in the mirror, I felt more insecure. I hated myself so much, I basically forgot the last time I looked at myself in the mirror. I think it was before i got voted out, and it's been weeks. I still looked skinny and scrawny, week, and still had the same dumb gap between my teeth. Not to mention the big ugly scar I had from when I was mauled by a bear.

I decided to go in the shower, and avoid seeing myself in the mirror as much as I could. Well, at least the cold water helped me wake up, although.. I do wish I had taken a shower with steaming hot water, maybe even get a third degree burn? After all, a loser such as me deserves that kind of pain. I hopped out of the shower, drying myself and placing the towel around my waist. Ugh, I hate my waist, it's so skinny... I can't be skinny if i want to be taken seriously, I'm literally in bones! I looked again at the mirror, my eyes looked so watery. I can't cry, not right now! Gee, what would my parents think of me now?.. I'm a boy, I can't cry, that makes a boy weak, like how my dad says... right?

I look at the mirror again, in disgust, and then at the sink, where there is mine and Noah's toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, and... some scissors.

...

Should I?...

...

It has been a long time since I last... relapsed...

...

Maybe I should?...

...

No. I have been clean ever since I got into Total Drama Island.

...

But right now... I honestly deserve it..

...

Yeah.. I  deserve it....

I took the scissors, and started to cut myself, roughly impaling the sharp blade on my arms, my skin. Blood fell on the sink, but seeing it made me happy. Two cuts turned into five, five turned into ten, and ten turned into twenty-five. Soon enough, my whole arm was covered in deep cuts and blood, so I moved onto my second arm. I didn't cut as much as I did on my left arm, but they were still pretty bad and deep. I looked at myself in the mirror, and couldn't help but smile. As I did, tears ran down my cheeks on to my shirt.

I deserve this.

I heard a door slam, so I guess Noah is back. I took some water and kind of cleaned my wounds. They still stung a lot, expected. I took some bandages from the bathroom cabinets, and wrapped them around my whole arms. I then put on a sweatshirt and some joggers. I was sweating a bit, but at least my arms were covered. I got ready to put on my best smile and unlocked the door. What I saw when I opened it, left me in horror. I saw Noah burning his thigh. He also had a horror and worried expression.