random shit and thoughts

Sensitive.

Ever since the channel incident, 

I've become more sensitive. 

I now can't turn off my emotions,

I push away my tears but more just appear.

It's really hard.

Is this how other people feel?

Because it's fucking annoying.

I want to go back,

Back to being strong.

But not I'm a fucking wimp.

———

Example:

Headed for class, 

I reach into my bag.

My red English folder,

Gone.

I frantically search around, 

Nowhere to be seen.

My homework, 

Do today. 

Gone.

Home.

"Hey Ms. K? Can I go text my mom to send me a picture of the grammar I left my folder at ho-"

"No." 

Oh.

Shit.

"Be more prepared for class."

I fiddle with my pen as everyone shares answers.

She places a pink slip on my desk.

I stare at it.

Slowly, 

Tears form.

Go away.

Please, 

Not now.

Stop. 

I blink them away, 

My throat tight, 

Wanting to just crawl into a ball and cry.

I don't want to to be here. 

"Ugh, I wanna go home." I say to my classmate, smiling.

But I really want to go.

Because I can't stand the burning in my face, 

The rest of class, 

I scratch my forehead unintentionally.

It burns.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" 

——

In the bathroom, I stare at my bare skin.

It's red, and irritated.

Shit.

Another reason for my mom to be pissed.

My nose gets stuffy, 

I want to cry.

But I won't.

I slowly wet a paper towel, 

Dab it on my face, 

Hoping it can help.

Something.

Because I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

And I don't know what to do.

I'm too over sensitive.

 [Ofc a kid at my table kept bothering me abt my face >:(( Graaaah]