random shit and thoughts

Insta

"Hey love, I saw your drawings. Your very talented."

My dad said,

walking into the room and handing me my sketchbook he saw on the counter.

"Thank you, I started a new style and all."

"I'm proud."

Later on,

Days later.

Ethan tells me that my father posted something.

He posted the pictures of my sketchbook.

One page specifically,

My drawings of Angel Dust.

(K knows <33)

Nervous,

I knew I had that sexual character drawn onto a page.

And one pole dancing sketch, (NOTHING WEIRD ISTG)

At the time, I thought it was silly.

"I showed all my friends ya know, they called you a freak."

He chuckled.

"Why the fuck would you do that? Are you kidding me?"

I was so done.

"Oh and here us Ian! HAHA! I knew I wasn't crazy!"

Ethan showed me the screen of my sketchbook pages.

Tears swelled, I turned my head to hide my face when packing up my bag.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled on his page to find the photos.

He didn't have my permission.

And now, everyone is going to think I'm a fucking freak again.

Ethan's friends tell my friends,

It's all over for me.

Why would he post that..?

Why.

Why..

I walked into the house crying explaining to my mom.

"I don't know how to tell him to take it down.."

She was silent.

If I told him,

Would he hate me?

It had a couple likes already,

and he has thousands of public followers.

I text,

Delete.

Re write it,

Delete.

My hands tremble of what to say.

I don't want to be harsh

I end up sending him a whole 3 paragraphs.

He responds in quick punctuation,

"I'm sorry.

It's gone."

Relief.

I felt bad.

But if my mom saw,

If any other witnesses,

I would have been made fun of again.

I don't want that.

I tucked my sketchbook in my drawer.

Now writing this, I regret telling him.

I feel horrible.

I didn't need to boss him around like that,

it's his Insta.

He should post what he wants.