random shit and thoughts

**************

This is kinda long sooooo yeah prepare yourself pookies :>
______________

We opened the door to McDonald's,

And ordered.

I'd I got the kids meal, I couldn't get cheese on my burger.

"I'll give you my cheese." Ethan said.

"Ok" I replied, ordering my food.

We sat down,

"Can I have the cheese?"

""Pfft- no?" He said.

"Ethan, the only reason I got this meal is because you said you were going to give me yours? I would have gotten a regular if you weren't going to give it to me. Your such a asshole." I told him.

"The cheese is melted the the burger? What can I do." He replied.

"But you said! You didn't think it was not going to be melted?"
I was pissed at this point.

"Shut up."

"You first."

My dad looked at me, furious.

"Eat your damn burger." He said angrily.

Teeth clenched together, eyes wide.

I began to eat my food.

Fast.

Something about it,

He never gets mad.

And when he did,

It scared me.

The one, my favorite person in the world,

Yelled at me.

Got mad.

I held back my tears,

And finished before anyone else.

You got mad, a grown ass man, gentle person,

I was practically trembling.

________________________________________________

We were arriving home,

Up the driveway.

You pushed the peddle up the end of the hill,

And the car slipped backwards.

It curved and swirled as you struggled to move it up.

But the ice stopped it completely.

The car slid to the side, and then my dad gave up.

We began to slide backward before he hit the breaks.

"I'm sorry loves, I think you got to walk from here."

"Okay, that's fine." Ethan said, packing his things.

"Alright. Are you going to be okay driving down?" I asked.

"I hope so." You chuckled.

I packed my things, hopped out,

Hugged you goodbye.

"Please be safe driving back ok? Call me if something happens.." I told him.

"I'll be okay luv. See your next weekend."

I walked up, looking behind me as you slid your way back down the driveway.

What if I turned my back?

What if you just slid out of control and into the fields?

And I couldn't do anything?

What if what happened to me that time,

Happened to you?

Would you survive?

And If you didn't..

It would be all my fault.

The yell,

I made you angry.

Your car flipped over,

And you dead,

Everything.

Gone.

I would go months crying,

Skipping school,

Therapy,

Everything.

All because of some ice.

If you just slipped your tire the wrong way,

Lost.

I would never forgive myself.

Ever.

———

We walked back up,

I grabbed my phone out of my bag.

"Did you get down okay?" I texted.

You didn't respond.

I bit my nails till they bled,

And laid down.

You texted back,

"I did !"

"Okay, love you! Drive safely 💕" I replied.

THANK GOD-

i am relived.

So,

So relived.