Back to You

Mia

The last 3 months have been hectic to say the least. The day that Ella came home saying we needed to leave sent, panic through me. She saw Ryan at the college talking to a few people, probably asking around if they knew either of us. We both knew that it was time to go. I still have no idea how he found us after all this time, it's been 2 and a half years, why is he still obsessed with me. I really through that he would have found another person to manipulate and control after I left.

We packed up all our stuff as fast as we could and since we really didn't have much to begin with, its didn't take that long. I called the landlord whilst we were packing saying we had a family emergency and had to break our lease. I knew we won't get our deposit back since we literally gave no notice. We just had to leave the keys inside the apartment as she had a spare.

We just drove not knowing where we were going. We stayed in a hotel for 2 nights, doing some research and trying to organize a new apartment. In the end we found somewhere that had a good college for Ella, enough work that I should be able to get a job pretty easy and had affordable apartments. We both got new phone numbers and Ella agreed to cut ties with all the new friends she had made, she is doing this all for me and I am so gratefully to have a wonderful supportive sister like her.

As Ella was on winter break it gave her a little time to work out what she wanted to do. She was in contact with the guidance adviser from her course who said that she could continue her degree online or they could organize for her records to be transferred to another uni. She decided that she wanted to go to college rather than continue online. She needed that interaction with other people so she got in contact with the new college and due to her excellent grades they were quite happy for her to start in the Fall semester so she had to continue online for spring.

We had to stay at a hotel for the first week as the apartment we found wasn't quite available when we got there. Even though it wasn't the best situation, it did actually help because I managed to get a job in the bar and restaurant at the hotel where we were staying. It chewed through a bulk of the saving we had but we both knew that this may happen. I'm just lucky that I was able to start work straight away and start bringing in the income again.

The apartment we found was nothing special. It was similar to the last one, not the best building, a little run down but still 2 bedrooms, decent living area and kitchen. It was on the ground floor so we also had a small courtyard which soon became my favourite spot. I would sit outside with a cup of tea, reading a book and soaking up the afternoon sun listening to the leaves rustle in the breeze and the birds chirp.

My shifts at the hotel varied from breakfast to lunch to dinner, since they were open from 6am – 10pm. I didn't mind the early starts because I would then either get a break and work the dinner shift or work straight through lunch and have the night off. The shifts here were longer and as the restaurant was so big there was a lot more walking than my previous job.

Tonight was like any other night at work, mostly hotel guests coming down for dinner or business people coming in for drinks after work as it was a Friday. It was still early in the evening, about 5 and I had already worked lunch and had a short break in between. My feet were starting to ache because if you do the lunch shift you need to clean the restaurant and reset for the dinner, so it's quite exhausting especially when they are already short staffed which is how I managed to pick up my job so quickly. Tonight though I am behind the bar so no clearing tables or walking a hundred miles, just making drinks for snobby businessmen.

I have noticed that there were a few buses pull up to the hotel and a lot more college aged people around than normal. The hotel wasn't really a college hang out, it was more tourists and local business people. I asked one of my co-workers and they let me know that the regional ice hockey finals are being played here next weekend and my heart stops. I didn't keep up to date on how Ethan was going with hockey. I knew I needed a clean break, I couldn't drag him into my mess. I know leaving without any reason or contact wasn't great but if somehow Ryan had found out about Ethan and I, it would have put him in a bad situation and I couldn't do that.

I'm constantly think about Ethan and what we had. His crystal blue eyes invaded my dreams nearly every night after I've cried myself to sleep. I miss his soft kisses before we went to sleep, I miss waking up wrapped in his arms, I miss the messages he used to send me randomly throughout the day just to let me know he was thinking about me, I miss him so much. I didn't want to leave, I had to leave. If Ryan ever caught up with me, I have no idea what he would do but I wasn't going to risk it to find out.

I notice that the bar and restaurant are now starting to get busier since it's edging towards 6. There is a group of college aged guys walking towards a table, I don't recognize them but I also never meeting Ethan's whole team. Then I notice that one of them is wearing a jacket with the college name and it's not Northeastern so I'm relived. Maybe they didn't make it to regionals, maybe they aren't staying at this hotel. I'm hoping that I don't run into them because I know that Ethan will have questions, lots of questions and I don't think I can answer them.

I'm serving a few customers and making their drinks when Amelia, one of my co-workers comes up beside me "Look at the hotties that just walked in. Think they'll be looking for a good time while there in town?" I look up to the entry and freeze, I see Jake and Tom walking straight towards the bar. Fuck that means they are here. Jake looks up from his conversation and he sees me and stops dead in his tracks making the people behind him run into him. They are too far away for me to hear what is said but I then notice who was behind him. My eyes find the crystal blue ones that I have seen in my dreams for months.

I can't think straight, everything around me is just a blur, all I can see is Ethan standing in front of me with a shocked look on his face. I need to move, I need to get out of here but I can't, I'm frozen in place. I can feel my heart starting to race. I'm brough out of my daze when I hear Amelia say "Do you know them?". I don't even answer her, I walk straight out the back of the bar, I need to leave. I can't be here, I can't face Ethan. I run into the staff bathrooms out the back and lock myself in one of the stalls. I try to control my breathing by counting slowing, but the tears running down my face, I can't stop them. It's been 3 months since I've seen him. 3 months since I kissed him, held him, heard his voice. God I miss him so much. I know he will be persistent and want to see me, but I can't, not tonight.