Back to You

Mia

Ethan left on the Sunday as he had to get back for classes. Ella and I have started to pack up the boxes and are heading back next weekend. I am still unsure of what is going to happen next and whether staying in Ethan's apartment is something that I want long term. I let my job know that I was leaving and even though we were on a lease until the end of the month, both Ella and I agreed we were going back to Boston. Since we really didn't have many things to pack it didn't really take that long. All the furniture came with the apartment so the boxes could fit in our car.

On Friday night, our last night here, we ordered take out. While we waiting we did a double check to make sure we hadn't missed packing anything as we planned on leaving early on Saturday morning. There was a knock at the door, expecting it to be the takeout, I grabs the money from the kitchen counter and opened to door. To my surprise there stood Ethan and Jake with bags in their hands. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the door wider for them enter. Jake comes straight up to me and engulfs me in a hug and whispers that he's missed me. "We came to help and brought dinner." Ethan answers my question.

After we have eaten the food, the guys brought plus what we ordered, I was getting tired. The guys said that they would just crash on the couch and floor tonight so they can help in the morning to take the boxes to the car. Totally exhausted I crash as soon as my head hits my pillow. Once morning comes, I start to get a little anxious, am I doing the right thing going to live with Ethan and the guys. He has always given me the option to live elsewhere but I know it would take time to find a place. I'm still not sure where I will go once he moves out of the apartment once college is finished.

I find that everybody is already awake when I enter the kitchen and there is an array of bagels, croissants, and muffins from the café down the street. The guys load all the boxes into my car, I go to grab my keys, but Ella takes them from me and tells me that her and Jake are taking our car and going straight to Sienna's place where she is staying until the dorms are available after the summer break and I'm riding with Ethan. She trying to tell me that it just makes sense, but I know she is trying to get me to talk to Ethan, I just don't know what to say.

The car trip home goes by quickly, Ethan asks me questions about the baby and catches me up on what's been going on with the others since I left. He has found an obstetrician and has already made an appointment with them on Monday. He told me if I'm not happy with them, we'll find somebody else. Once we arrive at his apartment, he carries the bag with my clothes for me. There is nobody else at the apartment and he shows me up to the spare room that is right next to his room. I've been here many times before so I know all of this and being here again is bring back a lot of memories and I can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. I try to will them away but a few slip and Ethan sees them before I can wipe them away.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he comes closer to me and rubs his hand down my arm. I nod "Lets blame the pregnancy hormones" I try to joke but Ethan just pulls me into his arms, and I melt into his hold. This feels so right and so familiar, but I can't think about this now, I need to concentrate on the baby so I pull away "I'm just going to get settled and have a lay down" I say as I walk into my room and close the door. I need to try and keep my distance from Ethan, we can't just go back to how we were before I ran, I don't even know if he wants that or if he's just doing all this for the baby.

I couldn't sleep when I lay on the bed, all I could think about was Ethan and the times when we were together. Giving up on trying to sleep I decided to pack away my clothes then go downstairs to have some lunch because this little baby was getting hungry. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I noticed that everybody was here, Jake, Alex, Sienna, Raya and Ella. Everybody greeted me with hugs saying how much they missed me, sorry for what I went through and glad I was back. The afternoon and evening we all spent catching up and watching movies. By 9pm I was exhausted, being pregnant just seems to drain all your energy. Saying good night to everybody I make my way up to my room, get ready for bed and hope I get a peaceful night's sleep, which hasn't really happened much since Ryan showed up.

I wake up in a sweat and breathing heavily with tears running down my cheeks. It was just another dream I keep telling myself trying to calm down. Then my door busts open and Ethan comes rushing towards me "Are you ok? I heard you scream."

"Just a bad dream." I manage to get out as my heavy breathing and tears continue. He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around me and rubbing circles on my back trying to calm me down, telling me it's going to be ok until I fall back into a deep sleep.

When I wake up, I can tell its still early because it is just getting light outside. What I didn't expect was to find Ethan still in my bed, spooning me with our legs tangled with each other and his hand resting on my belly. I surprise at how comfortable I feel like this. I can feel the baby moving around like they always seem to do early in the morning, already knowing that this child will be an early riser.

"Ohh" I hear from behind me. Ethan's awake, he moves his hand on my belly to where the baby is kicking or doing somersaults. I move to roll onto my back and Ethan goes to move his hand away but I stop him and hold his hand there. "That's the baby?" he questions, and I nod. A wide smile comes across his face like he's just won the lottery. We just lay there for about 10 minutes before the baby gets comfortable and stops moving around.

"Does this happen a lot?" he asks as he takes his hand away. "All the time. They are very active more so in the mornings."

"Mia" I turn to look at him "I want to be there for you and for our baby. I don't want to miss anything. I know this living arrangement is just temporary, but I would really like you to move in with me permanently even when I move from the apartment." He has so much hope in his eyes but I have been through so much and I'm not sure how this would even work. We have become closer in the last few weeks, but I don't want to be living with him just because he feels obliged because of the baby. We both need to figure out us before I can make a commitment like that. "I'll think about it" is all I say. He leans forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead "Thank you" and he gets out of my bed and leaves the room leaving me with a hundred and one thoughts running through my head.