Back to You

Mia

The guys and girls are in their final weeks of exams so I'm so bored at the moment because they have all been studying all night and through the weekend. It's been a few days since the night I had with Ethan. It's been a little weird when we are around each other. Neither of us has brought it up and I actually thought he may come back into my room the next night, but he just gave me a kiss on my cheek and went to his room.

I'm having lunch with Jake today as he doesn't have an exam so we found a café that apparently serves the best cheesy fries. Then I am meeting up with Ella, Raya and Sienna for a little bit of shopping, I'm finding my clothes aren't fitting me anymore. Once Jake and I have ordered and are waiting for our food, Jake pipes up and asks "What's goin' on with you and Ethan?"

I don't know how to answer that because I don't really have an answer. "What do you mean?" I try to deflect the question "Well, I know you were screaming his name the other night and now things just seem weird" I know I'm blushing. I can't believe that Jake heard me. "Come on Mia, you use to talk to me all the time" he presses me for an answer and I know I use to tell Jake things and get his advice.

"I honestly don't know. Things have been going great between us, getting along really well, he's been super sweet and I can tell he already loves this baby. He asked me to move in with him when he moves. But I just don't know what's going on with us. Yes, we had a moment the other night, but since then things have been weird, it's like we don't know how to act around each other now. I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. I feel like he is just doing all this because I'm having his baby and I question if I wasn't pregnant, would we be together?"

Jake takes my hands in his "Mia, that guy loves you so much. He was an absolute reck when you left. The way he looks at you, it's like you are the only one in the room." I can feel the tears forming in my eyes "Trust me when I say that he wants to be with you, whether you are pregnant or not." He stands up and wraps his arms around me and whispers in my ear "Just follow your heart and talk to him"

After our little heart to heart, our food arrives and we start to talk about what Jake's doing once he finished college and he asks me about the baby and if we have thought of any names yet. Ethan and I haven't talked about names and I'm not too worried I'm still just over 6 weeks until I'm due so we have time. We say our goodbyes and Jake heads to the library to get a few hours study in for an exam he has tomorrow while I make my way to the mall to meet up with the girls.

After a few hours of shopping trying to find maternity clothes that actually don't just look like a sack, we find a café for some afternoon tea. I order a Camille tea while the rest get coffee, lucky bitches. I've been craving coffee and decaf is just not the same. I also order a muffin and bagel because this baby seems to want food all the time.

Sienna is so excited to meet this baby, her guess is that I'm having a boy but Ella and Raya both think girl. We start talking about names and nursery theming, which I have not even considered. I was just going to get a crib and change table and paint the walls a neutral colour but no according to all of them, I need a theme so it's decided we are going to the baby shop after this to get some ideas.

"So, have you and Ethan started looking for a place to live in when you move?" Raya asks.

"Um no, I'm not sure where I'll be living" I tell them honestly. I feel Ella place her hand on top of mine and squeeze to show she's here for me. "He has asked me to move with him but I'm not sure where we stand with each other" They all look at me dumbfounded.

"Are you serious" Sienna says "He loves you and this baby. What's holding you back?"

I can tell this conversation is going the same way as it did with Jake. "I'm not sure. I think that maybe he is just doing all this because of the baby and I don't want to be in a relationship just because we have a child together." Again all I get them looking dumbfounded.

"Mia, you need to live in the now. Forget about the past. Ethan loves you to the moon and back, everybody can see that. And I'm pretty sure you feel the same. You just need to let yourself. Ryan is gone, this is your chance to have somebody who actually loves you, be there for you." Ella wraps her arm around me as she finishes talking. How can everybody be so convinced that Ethan loves me and do I feel the same.

"Before Ryan came back, I knew I was falling for him, but this baby changes everything. What will happen if it doesn't work out between us, we have a child that will be caught in the middle, I don't want that for this little guy" I say while rubbing my belly

"And what if everything works out and you stay together forever like we all can see will happen?"

For the rest of the afternoon, I have that question from Ella was running around in my head. The girls are suggesting how to decorate the nursery and all I can think about is my future with Ethan.