I loved you since I was young - Draco Malfoy

Chapter 16 - the 'I love you'

Kate's eyes fluttered open, greeted by the sterile white surroundings of the infirmary. The air smelled faintly of medicinal potions, and the room was bathed in a soothing light. She shifted her gaze and noticed Draco, peacefully asleep, his hand intertwined with hers. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips, a moment of solace in the aftermath of chaos.

The infirmary was a spacious room adorned with neatly arranged beds, each separated by privacy curtains. Shelves lined with healing potions and medical instruments adorned the walls, and the air held a subtle scent of antiseptic. It was a place of convalescence, where the wounded sought solace and healing.

Reaching out, Kate touched Draco's face gently, and his eyes fluttered open. Panic flashed across his expression, "You're awake," he breathed, his grip on her hand tightening. Kate learned she had been asleep for two days, a revelation that sparked a cascade of emotions.

They delved into a heartfelt conversation, exploring the events that transpired during Kate's unconsciousness. She recounted her desperate attempt to protect Draco, unleashing a surge of power she didn't fully comprehend. Tears welled in her eyes as she asked "Theo, is he... alive?" scared to hear the answer. "Yes, he is healing, taken to hospital," making her sight out of relief. Draco, grappling with his own remorse and gilt over the situation, kissed her forehead "I'm sorry. None of this would have happened if I had not been such a..." he hesitated. "A Malfoy?" she giggled.

"I was going to say – such an ass, but sure, that works too," he smiled.

The infirmary door creaked open, revealing Pansy and Astoria. Surprise and relief painted their faces as they rushed to hug Kate. Their presence provided a sense of solidarity for Kate who feared that her actions may have led her to lose all her friends. Just like she lost her mother...

A moment later their professor entered, urging everyone else to leave. In a private conversation, he informed Kate about the consequences of her unleashed power. "Am I expelled?" she questioned. "No, Ms Oze. Not expelled. The actions of last night showed us exactly that the best and safest thing for everyone is if you stay here in Hogwarts" as Kate sighed from relief still feeling immense guilt. The professor continued: "You know, Ms Oze - your mother, when she was here - she almost burned down the whole Hogwarts Dining hall when she saw a girl flirting with your father. You are more like her than it seems."

Extra lessons during weekends with magical experts were prescribed to help Kate gain control. She will regularly have to speak to Madam Poppy Pomfrey (the one who oversees the infirmary here in Hogwarts), checking in on her health and mental well-being each week. Kate received a reprieve from expulsion due to many student testimonies supporting her actions against Theo's magical and painful attack on Draco. Most people said that before Kate attacked, she pleaded with Theo to stop and let Draco go.

........

Leaving the infirmary, Kate wondered if she'd ever see Theo again, not that she wanted to. As she walked to her dorm, she felt the weight of frightened stares and whispered rumors all around her. Some students avoided her, their fear quite obvious. Sighing, she mused, 'People are afraid of me.'

Draco met her, offering silent support, and together, they ventured to the dark forest lake to talk more privately.

The dark forest lake was a secluded haven, its waters reflecting the mysteries concealed within the ancient woods. The shadows danced across the surface, and the moonlight painted a serene tableau. It was a place where secrets whispered, and confessions found solace.

Draco finally broke the silence, his voice low and filled with vulnerability, "Kate, I need you to know why I acted the way I did when we just met again". Kate looked at him, his eyes averted away from her.

"I was... scared, truly scared. When you went into hiding, I didn't know if you were alive or... I couldn't bear the uncertainty. There was a time I even thought the Dark Lord had killed you. It felt like you abandoned me when I needed you most, though I understand why you had to. It wasn't safe – to be with me..." he was still not looking at her.

"When the war ended, my family was in shambles. People averted their eyes as I walked. A former Death Eater. I didn't want you to be with someone like me, someone with such a dark past. Someone who fought so long for the wrong side. I thought... if I really did care for you - I'd have to let you go and be with another."

Kate pulled his face toward hers, her eyes searching his, "Draco, I understand you were hurting. For three years every day all I thought about was that kiss," they both smiled, "but I never wanted to leave you. I had to. I wanted to protect you from the danger I was in. I never thought you'd see it as abandonment."

He took a deep breath, "I'm ashamed..." he said looking down at his arm where underneath his cotton shirt – the Death Eater tattoo stays hidden, "of what I used to be. I just wanted you to find someone better, someone who didn't have that dark stain on his lineage. I pushed you away, thinking I was doing what was best for you."

She reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers, "Draco, we all have shadows in our past. What matters is who we are now and who we choose to become. Look at me yesterday. I'm surprised you are not running away from me screaming from fear like everyone else. People don't just whisper about me like they whisper about you. They now turn and hide if they even meet my gaze... You're not defined by your mistakes. And I don't want someone else; I want you, flaws and all."

"But. There is something I haven't told you. No one knows this, no one except my family..." she almost cried, scaring Draco, and he replied: "Whatever it is, we can-"

"No!" she interrupted, "you'll hate once I say it...", she sighed, "what happened with Theo - it was not the first time. You know... A year after we went into hiding, my emotions were all over the place. I was scared and heartbroken, thinking I may never see you or the Magic World again. I had no one to help me navigate my magic. I couldn't practice because Voldemort may sense and find us, so I had to bury it deep. This caused my state to worsen. And then one bad night, less than 2 years ago.... I-" tears started to roll down her face as Draco squeezed her hand and kissed it.

"I killed my mother..." she confessed, Draco's eyes widening. "Alana. She's dead?"

Teary-eyed Kate nodded: "I was sad and afraid, my mother and I had gotten into a fight, I wanted to return to Hogwarts, I begged and pleaded, but she forbid it. My father was not at home yet and we - during our fight - had not noticed that the curtains of our muggle home had caught fire. We just kept screaming at each other. I couldn't do anything to stop it once it started. I think in that moment I may have even wanted her dead... But when I woke up, my father was holding my, crying. My mother was gone just like ash."

They sat in silence for a moment until Draco leaned in, pulled her face closer and kissed her.

Draco's gaze softened, "It's alright now. All that is in the past. The war pushed everyone to be in a certain place. I'm sure your father understands and knew the dangers. I'm sure your mother forgives you." he stroked her hair, "God, I love you, Kate. I don't care about anything in the past. I've been so afraid of losing you that I almost pushed you away completely myself. I'm sorry for being so blind."

Tears welled in Kate's eyes as she whispered, "I'm sorry too, Draco, for not being clearer, for not seeing how much you were hurting. For hiding things from you. From now on - we need to trust each other, communicate, and face our fears together."

Emotions hung heavy in the air, the weight of revelations and shared vulnerabilities. As the moon cast its gentle glow upon them, Draco and Kate kissed, sealing their unspoken promises. "I love you," she whispered, the words carrying the weight of forgiveness, redemption, and a newfound understanding. The dark forest lake bore witness to the mending of hearts, a testament to the resilience of love amidst the echoes of a tumultuous past.