𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝟐𝟖

It was more into the night. The all nighter is awkward now.. Wheezie well, she has been confused and asking about what has happened. We weren't all together and Rose was questioning as well. Topper stayed out of it because he went on a bike ride. He felt like a piece of him was shattered and he didn't want to really face anything. I understand him completely.. I want to kinda sink under the water and not come up for a little bit. Like I wanna stay underneath the water and forget I am, so that I don't drown. I just wanna be comfortable and surrounded by something. And then I could come up as if I was baptized again. I just.. I would love for this to all be over. I wish it never happened.

I'm not crazy or out of place.. I..I know now I'm not. I couldn't be insecure about any of this. It's not me.. it's Sarah.. she's..she's a golden doodle. The dogs are fine but mix breeds are sometimes questionable, like how she is.. she's not the golden retriever I remember..

I wish Rafe was here right now.. I'm gonna talk to him for the rest of the night after I get out this pool.. he's like the Max to my Ruby even though Ruby was older.

John B held me in the water. His arms wrapped around my waste and his chin resting on my shoulder. He kept giving me kisses on the shoulder to calm me down. He kept reassuring me that he loves me and me only. That Sarah never crossed his mind and that she's not gonna be everyone's treat. He says that if she really would want to steal him away from me because she's used to the attention, then she's just a greedy fool.

Having him be on my side eased me so much. It makes you feel so open when someone you love is on your side and strongly. They're not even close to in between. That's why I'll always Love about John B. He's loyal and he's considerate. He improves and we don't fallout. Im gonna enjoy the rest of our journey together, and I hope one day, my sister will be happy for me 100%.

"Babe.. um.. I think I'm gonna head up and take a shower and I'm gonna call Rafe, but I'll be back down.. hopefully", I said as I gathered my thoughts.

John B simply nodded as he let me go gently. "I'm gonna wait for you to come down just in case Rose questions. I want you to be there, and clear the air of everything", He replied as I got out the pool.

"Good idea, but Topper should be there too, ask Wheezie if she could call him", I said as I then walked up the stairs. I walked inside and it felt extremely awkward. Wheezie was eating tangerines as she looked at me. Sarah wasn't even in the living room. But Rose was and she went up to me.

But, I told her "when John B and Topper get here". She instantly understood.

I then walked into my room and then to the bathroom. I kept planning out what to say when the time comes. I don't want to be overly aggressive when I talk about it all. I want to keep it "professional". If I get too angry, I may fail to say much.

With the hot water running down my body, I don't want to step out. I just wanna stay in here until my body shrivels up. When that water hits you, it's like the fast beat in your heart slows and you wanna fall back onto a big fluffy pillow that's human sized. And then you wanna giggle and look up into the little beam of light because you're warm and clean. Life could use some more warmness and it could definitely be more clean, people's attitudes and mindsets.

Now with the showering over and my body cleansed. My legs feel like fish out of water. Because I don't want to go downstairs. I don't want to actually face anything. Maybe I never have to go with talking to my sister again. But we all know I could never do that. Too much has happened never for that. Family is a gold bond.