sparks to ashes- (finnpoe) PAUSED

Chapter 5- to be loved

Not long after Poe had shown Finn around, both of them were summoned into a meeting room, where Rey and General Organa were waiting for them. Finn tensed, knowing that it would be something about him. Sensing his unease, Poe discreetly took one of Finn's hands into his own and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Commander Dameron, Finn," Leia greeted them, "I'm sure you know why you are here." The silence that followed was deafening.

"I would like to know your plans around the Sith Order." Leia explained, not unkindly, but firmly enough to let Finn know she wouldn't be taking anyone's crap. "Do you mean to fight them, or are you intending to hide away out here and hope they don't find you?"

Finn breathed out an uneasy sigh, and cast his eyes to the ground. "I can't run forever." he said, "eventually I will have to try and destroy them."

Poe put a hand on Finn's arm. "You don't have to do that. You're safe here."

"Commander." Leia cut him off with a stern glare.

"I have to." Finn told Poe. "Otherwise I will never really be safe, and neither will any of you. They're looking for me already."

Poe looked deep into Finn's eyes. "Then we can help you. You don't have to do this alone."

Finn glanced at Leia for confirmation. To his surprise, she nodded. "You're in the Resistance now. We all help each other.That's how we'll win this war- by saving our allies."

Finn wasn't convinced this was what he wanted, but he didn't want to seem ungrateful. He still needed a place to stay for a while, and he had gotten lucky.

"Thank you, General," he said. She smiled at him.

"Anytime. And, Finn?" He paused to look at her.

"Yes?"

"May the Force be with you."

—

Finn and Poe were back in Finn's new quarters, Poe making it feel more homely. Finn stood beside the door and watched as Poe worked. "Poe?" he asked. The pilot turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

Finn breathed out slowly. "Why are you helping me?" He didn't need to explain, Poe understood what he meant. He shrugged, as if he hadn't given it much thought.

"I dunno. I like you, I guess. I'd say you're the friendliest sith I've ever met- but also the only one."

Finn nodded. "I like you too. I've never really.. cared about anyone before, but you're alright."

Poe smiled at the comment. "If you don't mind me asking, I've always thought of the ancient sith as these big scary people who kill anyone that gets in their way. You don't seem very.. evil."

"You just haven't got in my way yet." Finn joked. "Honestly, I wish I could agree with you. I've murdered people time and time again, and I wasn't exactly planning on being friends when I met you."

Poe nodded, dropping what he was doing to take a step closer to Finn. "So why didn't you kill me?" he asked softly.

"Because you're different." Finn admitted, "My mentors never really cared about me. Training is brutal that far out in the galaxy, and the others weren't any better. It was a constant power struggle to be the best, the most feared, and I was tired of it. You couldn't trust anyone, and I wanted more. I wanted to go out into the galaxy and see what the rest of it was like. But if I told anyone that, they would've killed me."

"Did someone find out?" Poe asked.

"Yes." Finn told him, "Someone I thought was an ally, or close to it at least. Tried to turn me in, so I did the only thing I could to save myself. I killed them, all of them. And then I ran, right into you. And you don't hate like the others. You're conflicted, but you still try to help people. You use what you have for everyone, instead of for yourself, and it's so new to me, but I think that's how I want to live."

"Really?" Poe was a little surprised, he hadn't been expecting this much.

"Really. I want to live like you. I want.." he paused, "to help people, and make things better. I want to know.." Finn looked away. "Nevermind."

"No, go on." Poe insisted, intrigued. "I'm listening."

Finn looked at him for a moment, deciding whether or not to trust him. "I want to know what it's like to fall in love." He sighed. "Ugh. It sounds so stupid, doesn't it?"

Poe took Finn's hand gently, catching him by surprise. "I don't think that's stupid at all."

Finn tried to smile, but he wished he hadn't said it. He felt pathetic. "Do you ever feel like that?"

"Sometimes." Poe told him, "I've never found it easy to fall in love. To really love someone is one thing, and it's another for them to love you back."

"What's it like, falling in love?" Finn asked quietly.

Poe thought for a moment. "You know you're in love when you meet that one person who just seems to fill up your heart, if you get what I mean. No matter how low in life you are, it's the person who makes life worth living, who you can never stop thinking about, who you feel slightly nervous whenever you talk to them. It's someone you want to get nice things for, take them out for food, and protect like nothing else exists in the galaxy." he sighed, "someone you want to know that you'll always have their back, no matter what."

Finn was touched, but he would never admit it. "Sounds like you love someone, huh?"

Poe smiled sadly. "I did, a long time ago."

Finn squeezed his hand gently. "Whoever it was, I know they appreciated it. It must be nice, having someone who cares about you that much."

"Maybe one day you'll find someone." Taking both of Finn's hands in his own, Poe gently leaned in and kissed Finn's lips. It lasted no longer than two seconds, but to Finn it felt like an eternity.

Poe was first to let go. He smiled, but did not speak, and didn't mention the kiss again.