sparks to ashes- (finnpoe) PAUSED

Chapter 4- unspoken feelings

Finn did not enjoy being surrounded by people. Ordinary people, who had no skills, no talent, just fighting to be alive. It made him feel strange, like he stuck out, even though nobody paid much attention to him. Being in such a crowded, busy place was not something he was used to, and he hoped that he wouldn't have to.

He liked Poe, in a way he didn't feel for anyone else. It wasn't a feeling he had felt before, and he had no idea how to describe it other than the fact that it felt a bit warmer in his heart. Poe was interesting to Finn- he had a mix of swirling, complicated emotions. Underneath the show of a cocky pilot he seemed to put on for everyone, he was hurt, and Finn liked having someone to relate to, but someone who had been through different things. Someone he maybe could talk to about his life, and someone he could listen to.

Finn's thoughts were disturbed by a sudden punch to his shoulder. He frowned, turning around, to see a young woman dressed in a bright orange jumpsuit. "Can I help you?" Finn asked, trying his best to not come off as aggressive.

"Hey, new guy." the woman greeted him. "I'm Jess. Jessika Pava, black squadron. You're Finn, right?"

Finn was careful not to give anything away. "How did you know?"

Jessika shrugged cheerily. "Poe told me. He's our squadron leader. He asked if I could tell you to meet him in the main hangar."

"Squadron leader?" Finn narrowed his eyes slightly, "How long have you known him for?"

Jessika seemed not to trust Finn, as she folded her arms across her chest, something he understood completely. He preferred that, to be honest. He was much more used to being feared and despised; the curiosity Poe's friends had for him was unnerving. "I've known him for a little while," she answered, "he's a good man, and a damn good pilot, but I'm sure you know that."

Finn nodded, "He is good," he agreed, "I like him."

"I'm sure you do," Jessika told him, "but don't take it too hard if he's been a bit off to you. Poe's one of the most loyal people around, but you would never guess it. He looks like he's been through hell and back, and to be honest, it isn't far from the truth, but give him a bit of time. He doesn't trust people easily, but eventually he'll warm up to you."

Finn seemed surprised. "He seemed fine to me."

"Really?" Jessika raised an eyebrow. "I guess he would. Everyone falls for Poe eventually. Anyway, he's expecting you" With a quick 'see you around', she left Finn alone, wondering what she had meant by 'everyone falls for Poe'.

"I haven't fallen for him." Finn muttered, but Jessika was already gone. He sighed frustratedly, digging his nails into the palm of his hand, and went to the hangar.

Poe was exactly where Jessika had told Finn he would be, in the hangar, cleaning a black X-wing with an orange stripe running across it. Poe greeted Finn with a cheesy grin, and spread his arms wide. "This," Poe told Finn proudly, "is Black One, most beautiful ship in the galaxy."

Finn couldn't help but smile back. "This is your one?"

Poe nodded. "Yep. Stunner, ain't she?"

Finn had seen very few X-wing fighters in his life, but Poe's starfighter was much more flashy than the others. "It sure is cool." It almost made him laugh, how proud Poe was of his ship. "Your friend Jess Pava said that you wanted to speak to me?"

"Oh!" Poe seemed surprised, "It wasn't anything important, I was just wondering how you were getting on. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Finn insisted, putting his hands on his hips while he looked around the hangar. "I appreciate it."

Poe's cheeks flushed at the comment, and he ran a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact. "Cool." was all he could say. "If you want, I can show you where you'll be staying in a minute. Your room isn't far from mine, in case you ever need me."

Finn nodded, but he was busy listening to Poe's thoughts instead of his words. Poe could tell something was up- Finn was staring at him and had been doing so for a little too long to be normal.

"Why are you nervous?" Finn asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Your heart." Finn said, "it's beating very fast." he suddenly seemed sad, "you're not scared of me, are you?"

Poe raised his eyebrows. "Scared of you? No, I'm.." his voice trailed off as he searched for the right words. "I.. you know. But I'm not scared of you at all, I'm glad to have you around."

Finn seemed to get what he was looking for. "Hm." was all he said. "I'm.. glad to be here, too."

Poe's eyes were on Finn once more, and he looked like he was about to say something when somebody called his name.

"Poe! You're needed on the bridge!"

Poe sighed and looked at Finn apologetically. "I won't be long." he promised, "maybe you could help Rey with the Falcon?" Finn didn't look convinced.

"Rey? She hates me!"

Poe shrugged as he turned around, hiding a smug smile. "I'm sure you'll be fine. I'll see you after, and then I'll show you around for real."

"Sounds good." Finn called to Poe's departing figure. The pilot looked once over his shoulder to grin warmly at Finn, before he was out of sight. Something about being left alone made Finn feel uneasy. Poe seemed to care about him, but that couldn't be said of anyone else.

"Wanna make yourself useful?" A voice asked. Finn turned around to see Rey, and tried not to sigh. She held a rag in one hand and threw it to Finn. "While you wait for your lovebird, you can do a bit of cleaning with me."

"Lovebird?" Finn frowned. It wasn't a phrase he had heard before. "What's that?"

Rey looked like she was about to laugh, but seemed surprised at Finn's genuine confusion. "You mean you don't see it?"

"See what?" Even though he was a sith, Finn seemed to Rey so little and lost, like a small child. She looked away. "Nevermind."

"Is it about Poe?" Finn asked, while he got to work scrubbing the exterior of the Falcon with Rey.

"Mhm."

"He has feelings for me." Finn said suddenly. "I felt his thoughts."
"You catch on quick." Rey said, starting to hum a tune to herself.

Finn didn't understand. "I never really understood this whole concept of love you all have." Whatever reaction he had been expecting from Rey, the last thing she gave him was sympathy.

"Poe would say the same. He doesn't understand love, he just likes the idea of having someone to obsess over him. He lives for the attention."

"Jessika said that everyone falls for him eventually." Finn said, "Does he.. have many relationships?"

"'Many' is an understatement." Rey told him, "Like I said, you give Poe the slightest bit of attention and it's like he glues himself to you, but only to drop it all when the next new face comes in."

That made Finn feel a little sad. "Maybe he's just lonely." he suggested, "what if he just wants someone who understands?"

"Poe's love life is the least of my concerns right now," Rey muttered, wiping her forehead with her sleeve, "but if you wanna go make him feel special or whatever, I won't stop you. Just don't be surprised when you find out he doesn't actually care about you as much as you thought he did."

Neither Finn nor Rey spoke for a while, and the statement hung in the air while they worked, leaving Finn to wonder what exactly Poe had done to upset everyone so much.