Music Saved us

chapter 16 | mental health is a bitch

lanas pov

tw- mentions of SA,suicide

Yuki sighed pushing his hair back he avoided our eye contact "i never knew my mom" he said "she met my dad in tokyo when she was a student she gave up her life here and moved for my dad they was crazy about each other my dads parents was against them being together so they ran off to a city up northen japan" he shakes his head smirking "and my dad wonders where i get my rule breaking behavior from" he gulped carrying on "anyway they got married and then my mom got pregnant with me and everything was that perfect fairy tale ending" he shakes his head looking down his eyes watering link went to sit down by him and grabbed his hand "you dont have to tell us" i spoke my voice horse from not speaking for a while he met my eyes "no! we need to do this" he sighed again "so she gave birth to me but it wasnt an easy birth she..she didnt make it but I did" his tears spill out now his voice shakey "my dad never recovered i think he blames me we have never spent time together he focused on work pushed me to study all the time take up all type of sports music lessons you name it ive probably done it..i-i never had a childhood always away in some late night study lesson up untill two years ago i got perfect grades number one in my class i thought i owned it to my dad but he still didnt care not even a congrats son" he laughed bitterly gripping links hands harder "anyway the work load was getting to much i fell asleep in some lessons and my grades dropped and that is what finally made him pay attention to me he shouted at me called me a slacker and something in me snapped after that i got into the wrong crowd got into fights i stole, drank and smoked everything to get me in trouble i did i just didnt care about anything i got kicked out of school" he looked down ashamed "anyway one day i took it to far i stole my dads car and crashed into a shop ended up in a cell my dad was so mad he didnt even shout or scream anymore he shipped me off to my aunt on my moms side he never even saw me off even now two years on nothing"

he wipes his face tears flowing freely now "but it was a blessing my aunt taught me about my mom stuff i needed to hear i changed and without all that pressure i finally settled down but still everynow and then i still feel worthless and not loved its even worst on hoildays where you see kids with there mom and dad you know happy normal family shit" link pulled him in a tight hug i got up shakey on my feet and joined there hug leo slowly moved rusling his hair "you are loved idiot" he said his voice low and sad "you have us" link mumbled agasint his shirt he sighed as we pulled apart leaning back "you no that feels alot better now someone else can spill" he crosses his arms a stern look on his face i look down picking at my nails not wanting to go next leo moved backing back into the corner away from everyone link sighed "these two idiots arent gonna go next are they" we all looked at her my cheeks flushed "i dont think so no" yuki glares at both of us i notice there hands sill interwinded i smile a little looking at there hands "fine you fuckers but lana your next" she meets my eyes i gulp and nodd already trying to think of a excuse to get out of it.

link closed her eyes sighing she crossed her legs "i hate this" she whispered under her breath yuki rubbed circles on her hand and i saw her back relax and she looked between us and took a breath "i never knew my mom or dad" she sighs "i was dropped off on a doorstep at an orphanage" she started drawing patterns on the floor avoiding eye contact with us all "i bounced around from foster care to foster care it was awful i got builled abused made to be a maid i acted out at school because of it i was around 14-15 when i started drinking going to clubs i looked way different to how i look now your classic blonde hair blue eyes type of girl i tried to fit in you no draw boys attention" she shivered a disgusted look on her face " i never felt love so getting attention off boys i liked it" she shakes her head "but one night i met the wrong guy he was older then me a full adult navie me thought it was cool we kissed and he offered me a ride home i took it stupid me" i inhale understanding every girls worst fear yukis free hand was balled up into a fist leos face full of rage as he clenched his jaw "lets just say i was too scared to run away so the next morning i woke up and ran my legs hurt everything hurt" she broke and started to cry i moved without thinking wrapping my arms around her "after that i stopped going out avoided guys i was a living wreck" she sighs rubing her eyes her make up smudged "but i found music it really helped me i finally moved in with a good family they knew something was off knew the signs so put me into therpay and i finally confessed everything and police got involved his locked up and i learnt how to love in a healthy way" she smiled looking at the floor a her eyes moving to her hand in yukis "why i put up such a strong front and flirt so much i dont want peoples pity but even now i cant face seeing myself with long blonde hair its like i can still feel his hands in my hair" her voice cracks again i hug her tighter "need me to kill him cus i know people" yuki whispers moving closer to her his face fully serious "im sorry you had to go though that" i say meeting her eyes my own eyes full with tears she sighs and smiles a sad smile "thank you both of you but his in jail for life repeat offender" she sighs closing her eyes and leaning back agasint the door "i just take it one day at a time like i said music helps so i understand yuki i need this band to work too" she meets his eyes they share a knowing look and my eyes drift to leo whos wiping tears off his face sitting on my bed "fuck what a vile human" he mutters.