Music Saved us

Chapter 14| welcome to anxitey

Chapter 14

Leo's pov

After I walked out of lanas Sunday I drove straight home and started to have a panic attack as I reached my room I was taking fast short breaths and trying to calm myself down as I felt tears sting my eyes she knowns I thought to my self over and over again before I realised what I was doing I was walking into the bathroom in need of my release foggy images of that night in my head my sisters crying my dad stood over me blood on his clothes, as these images was in my mind I kept slashing my wrist when I was finally calm and able to see again I looked down to see five deep cuts I felt sick seeing all the blood I cleaned myself up and stopped the bleeding wrapping up my wounds tight, I walked out of my bathroom finally being clam but feeling awful I changed into sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt I lay down on my bed and reached for my phone I saw I had two messages from Lana I opened and read them
"Hey is everything okay?"
"How do you know my mom"
I sighed pressing the lock botton on my phone ignoring her messages so i guess that means she don't know anything about the case then good I sighed again feeling my body relax the thought of Lana finding out about my family life and the thought of seeing that look of pity on her face just like everyone else gave me her mom included makes me sick I don't want to be seen as that Pitiful person that's why I was so happy to be moving turns out you can escape form your demons I heard a beep form my phone again I picked it up reading them
"Are you coming to school tomorrow?"
Is was Lana again I locked my phone ignoring her again I stared at the ceiling with my thoughts confusing me a part of wanting to let her in and a part of wanting to shut her out both of them played Inside my mind a few minutes later I heard one more beep I goaned getting annoyed but when I released I was getting annoyed by her I picked my phone up again reading what she sent me
"Are you ignoring me?"
She asked it was clear she was starting to get upset with me i sighed finally releasing what I was going to do I locked my phone again and turned off my bedside lamp letting tears roll down my face I drifted into sleep.

I woke up in the morning to the sound of my mom shouting at me about where something was I shouted back as always I looked at the clock as saw I was two hours late for school I goaned getting up by the time I got there it would be lunch so I just decided to go to the music room to play gutiar for a bit then go to afternoon lessons, I reached the music room not realising Lana would be inside before I entered I saw her in the window so I didn't enter and inside looked into the window I could see a bit of her face from my angle she looked sad just like she did when I met her I fowned she was messing with the Bluetooth speaker she put on paramores misery business and set up the mic and started singing I gasped and opened my mouth halfway though the song her voice had so much power init and emotion she was angry it was obvious I felt pain and sadness and she pushed the mic stand down and was breathing hard she picked her phone up and stopping the recording then I got a notification from YouTube she uploaded it ? I thought I opened it up it was obvious this was anger was aimed at me and I held back the tears once again i just had to get used to this I'll drop out the band I don't want to but it will be to hard for Lana for me to be in the band doubt yuki and link will even want me in the band after how upset I made her I stood up finally accepting my fate walking to my next lesson.

As I got to English I saw tia was there and knew what to do to get my message across to Lana I walked over to her "can I sit with you" I asked in the nicest tone I could manage she looked me up and down and smiled "sure" she said winking at me I felt sick I slid in to the chair next to her and reply back to her as she made small talk "so you got board of the fat fugly emo" tia mocked just as Lana walked into the room she stopped in her tracks when she saw me sitting with tia I just laughed as a response to tia the idea of Lana being fat and fugly making me laugh but I knew it would be like something else to Lana she inhaled sharply and marched back out the classroom tears in her eyes I felt a pain in my heart again but I ignored it this is so selfish of me to shut her out but I just can't see that look oh her face her of all people and I'm sure she would run miles away from me and my family two not many people wanna hang out with a murders son I sighed pushing tia away as she tried to cling onto me.