Voices we listen | Hyunlix

Screwed

Chapter 77

Screwed 

P.S. So it should have been the ending that Felix just throws Hyunjin out of his life starting a new with him and Soona and eventually Hyunjin dies and regret fills Felix but he has to live now for Soona, but my brain couldn't accept that and i decided to change it all, stay put and try not to kill me when u finish the Chapter cause it's not the ENDING, and there will be more chapters....let me play this as i planned.....I wrote it like right now in 20 minutes cause the ideas just flew in.....

-Come today, at 7 p.m., u will have 1 hour to explain.

I said with the sadness in my eyes, it was painful to relive the whole thing happening around me. It was the long trail of things going on in my head and I just wanted to get out of there.

He nodded escaping the more of my horrible look that I shared with him as I fell inside of the cab as they took me home.

The road was unbearable as was rolling inside the head of the all horror videos and pictures of him committing crime and it was the only time I would like to erase and just walk with the pink glasses and feel myself happy for sure.

I signed as I left the car thanking for the ride as I jumped in the elevator running to my baby.

I opened the door to find 2 babies in hysterics it was Minho who was crying on the lap of the Han who had no idea what to do and the Soona who felt the nervousness in the air. Han was trying to deal with both but it turned out completely unsuccessful and he was in the middle of the messy room with Minho on the floor as his head was on Han's lap as he held some napkins throwing them around and baby in his hands as he shakes her a little to calm down but she wouldn't stop as I just stared at the scene. Never in my life I saw him crying, I saw him sad and extremely frustrated but not in such state for sure.

-What's going on?

I said as his eye flew to me and he jumped running to hug me, he took me in his arms wrapping about my slim body holding me tight.

-I though I lost u!

-Thanks God, I was going crazy. This bitch was crying the whole time, even when I came.

He meant Minho for sure.

I smiled wrapping him in the small hug as he hid his face in my neck line holding me tight.

-I love u too, but I can't breathe, Lee.

I said and he let me go wiping the rest of sadness from his face.

I took Soona calming her down as she giggled playing with my messy hair as I gave her to Minho realising my clothes was still in blood.

They saw it too but didn't dare to say something.

-Han?

I asked as he looked at me smiling.

-Can we talk in private, I need a therapist, not a friend.

-Sure, Minho calm down u balls and keep the baby calm.

I went into my room throwing the hoodie in blood on the flor as he sat down on the bed.

-What is it?

-Okay, I need to conduct normal speech and I am gathering thoughts. Is it possible to forgive unforgivable?

I said looking at him.

-Depends on the case, people do this all the time, that's what makes us people right?

I sat down near him.

-But what if it's really bad, like criminally bad.

-Depends on the case, the person ,the state he was in and other details, is it about Hyunjin?

-Yes, what if I tell u that this man showed me something I would never want to watch and see in my entire life.

I guess it made him think as he was silent.

-I don't know, u have to evaluate the broken personality he has and from the scientific point of view, he is sick, Felix, from personal point of view u are right now looking for the reason to forgive him.

I gasped taking the hand to play with something as I couldn't look at him.

-Is it the bad thing? Tell me, I deleted the files. Tell me, am I a part of the monster myself?

He loomed at me taking a minute to think over as I looked back at his expression.

-No, u are just madly in love, my boy! Love makes u do such things that may not be explained, do u know how many times I wanted to leave Minho, his flirty nature keeps fucking with me, he has to do that and I feel that hard as ever. It makes me go insane and go to the hell and fire myself, but I guess my love for him is stronger that all of that.

What is it for u? Is it the love that took u over or the consciousness that u are fighting? U have to decide the side u are on. And let it go once and forever, or u will eat yourself up, not worth of that.

He caressed me leaving the room to think as I just wondered to the shower washing the dirt of the morning events as I changed into a fresh clothes going to the kitchen to find them eating as we just did it in silence.

I was left alone with the thoughts as they took Soona for the weekend, Han wanted to give me time and space and Minho liked the idea.

I was sitting on the sofa til leavening footing with my brain as it was becoming darker as the light ruined on the bar stand and I looked at them sipping the water I had in my hand. The light wind stream made me shrug as I felt the warmness son the right from me as my eyes slowly turned to see him sitting near me, his state was horrible, he was pale and nervous, I could feel him sweating as he just clutched his fingers looking on the floor.

-How much do u know?

He asked as I turned my head to him looking into his eyes as we met our gazes and his biting of the lips showed everything. He signed.

-So, u saw everything.

The trembling in his voice made me hopeful to find that he was knowing it was bad what he did.

-Most of those times when I did this things were the beginning of the black times, the year that washed me, I took drugs and was high most of the time and not remembering what I did, I know it's not a excuse but Felix, I truly don't remember half of the things I did.

I gulped the another sip of water listening to him as my eyes wondered across the room.

-I was stupid and insane, it was right after my father did those things and I was getting unstable, no pills and just a lot of money destroyed me completely. I saw my mother despise to me, and it made it even easier to go down the hole.

He said as his hand were wet and he was completely incapable of constructing the long speech.

-If I am going to lose u, I will die, u know that, only can keep me stabile Felix, I love u, and I know it sound like a manipulation but as stupid it won't sound, it's a clear truth.

I frowned looking at my hands holding the bottle.

-Please, love, don't let me lose u...I am begging u, Lixie...

He almost whispered as his eyes were dark as the circles under his eyes, he was deep in the pot.

I finally decided to say something breathing out the full lungs of air as the words just flew out.

-I want u to leave.

The words he would never want to hear, the words that shuttered him to pieces.