I'm here for you

i miss you

EDIT

WHAT THE FUUUUCKIS THIS CHAPTER,IM SORRYY,IHAVE NOIDEA WHY THIS IS WRITTEN, IT MAKES NO SENSE WITH THE REST OF THE BOOK IM SORRYY 

LOUIS' POV

my name is louis tomlinson

4 years before. 

(A.N  louis would be 14 and harry the same, all the boys are the same age exept for niall, he's 13 as thats how i want it)

i met harry and i never believed in love at first sight but i decided maybe i was wrong. the only thing is i dont know if he's straight. he probably is. cus im just some weirdo kid whos a fuck up. why would anyone go out with me??? im just being stupid. of course he wont like me back. he's too perfect for that.

"LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON!!!" a voice yells up the stairs bringning me out of my daydream. "THERE IS SOMEONE BY THE NAME OF HARRY STYLES HERE TO SEE YOU" i sigh. this could be interesting. i chuck my duvet of me and get out of bed. i walk to the door before realising im only in my boxers. my hair is a mess, i have bags under my eyes and my eyes are bloodshot and there are tear stains on my face. i hadnt even realised i was crying. i sigh once again and yell"BE DOWN IN A MINUTE MUM" i grab my dean lewis hoodie of the floor and a t-shirt as well as some jeans. i open my door and go down the landing to the bathroom, i open the door and star at my face. i dump my stuff on the floor and shut the door and also lock it. i cant risk anyone finding out about what im about to do.

TW:

 "stupid idiot" i mutter to myself and stand on my tippy toes to open the cupboard that's high up so the girls dont reach it. i grab the razor my dad uses everyday. i drag the razor along my left wrist. i wince in pain but ignore it. its worth it. a uselss piece of shit like me deserves this. i lift it up, run it under the tap and place it about half a centimetere abouve the now bleeding cut, i dig deeper this time. "stupid... stupid... stupid... i should die, nobody cares. everyone hates me" i mutter again and again and again. eventually i stop. i look at myself in the mirror. i sigh as i see more tears streaming down my face.

END OF TW:

i go to the shower and turn it on. i grab a towel and dump it next to the shower. as i get in i hear phoebe yelling to hurry up as she really needs to pee. i sigh and yell "gimme 10 minutes or go downstairs." i laugh to myself as i hear her running down the stairs yelling at mum that im taking too long and that she's about to piss herself. i can just imagine my mum rolling her eyes.

i stand in the shower and as the warm water hits my back, i start thinking about harry. i think about a lot of things. eventually i grab the strawberry scented paw patrol shampoo and sqeeze a generous amount onto my hair and rub it in. i rinse it out and stupidly get some in my eye"fuck" i think as it really stings. 

once i get out of the shower i dry myself, carefully avoiding my cuts as i dont want blood on my mum's white towells, and i grab some baby wipes and wrap the around my wrist. "there. much better" i say, i carry on getting dressed and as i put my hoodie on, i am very careful not to touch the wipes as theyre not as good as bandages but they'll have to do until i go the the phamacy later.

i unlock the door and also wash dad's razor so there's no blood left on it, and put it back where it was before. 

i walk out the bathroom and towards the stairs and i go downstairs straight into the kitchen. my mum is there with harry. theyre deep in conversation so i dont interuppt. i walk to the cupboard, grab a boal and sppon as well as the coco pops and put them on the counter and walk to the fridge. i open the door and look for the milk. eventually i sigh deeply and say "muuuuuuuuuum there's no miiiiilk" my mum and harry look up, it seems they havnt noticed me. "great, another two people who dont care about me2 i think to myself. "oh hi there boo bear" my mum says, boo bear has always been her name for me and i hate it but she loves it so i let er use it only cus it makes her happy. "yes i know, i was wondering if i gave you money, would you mind popping to the little tesco down the road? i thought you and harry could walk together??" i sigh, yippee, my mum doesnt know im gay and that im falling for harry. so i cant blame her for not knowing but it still irritates me."its fine. i'll just skip breakfast." i roll my eyes and just walk out the room.

i hear my mum asking harry if she knows whats up with me as ive been acting weird lately.

what did you think?? ive never written anything before so i hope its okay.

913 words.