I'm here for you

christmas

louis pov

urgh, christmas, i hate it. mainly because my birthday is THE DAY BEFORE! i mean, i get to see my family and friends, but its not the same.

not anymore. now shes gone.

great, im already crying and its not even eight in the morning. i roll over so im on my side and bury my face into hazza's side. hes lying on his back, snoring away. i smile slightly.

god i love him so much. he's the most amazing person ive ever met. words cant describe how he makes me feel.

i breath in his scent, and i think of my mum. i feel tears in my eyes. last time she was here, it was for my birthday not last year but the year before. i miss her so so much, its killing me. i put my hand on my eyes to try and stop the tears from rolling down my face and soaking harry's shirt.

it doesnt work

FLASHBACK

(btw i cant do it in italics idk why but my laptop wont let me. sorry)

im lying in bed with harry's arm around me, and he's telling me about a video he saw online with a dog or something, he can hardly finsishe a few words without laughing, its not even funny, but i smile cus its my hazza and just him finding such simple things so funny, make me laugh.

harry rubs my arm with his hand and i relax more than i already am.

"haz?" i ask quietly

"yea" he replys, kissing my head

"somethings up with mum, she's always tired more easily and her face is whiter than usual and im worried, cus whenever i ask her if shes alright or needs help with anything, she always denys it and im worried about her, shes not herself" i say with tears in my eyes im so worried about mum, she means the world to me and if anything ever happened to her, id never forgive myself.

"yeah ive noticed that as well, im sure shes okay lou, i mean what with everything going on, and then having to look after the girls as well, lack of sleep is probably catching up with her, i can talk to her if you like?" harry offers softly

i nod, not trusting my voice.

harry kisses my head again.

"happy birthday lou" harry whispers.

i smile and move my head so its resting on his chest. i can hear his heart beating and feel him breathing. i shut my eyes and try to go back to sleep. but as life has it, there was a knock at the door.

"come in," harry says

the door opens and its mum, i look up and smile but i dont lift my head up, im too comfy.

"hi mummy" i say smiling at her.

"hi H, hi lou lou, ive made waffles, you want them in here or do you wanna come down and eat them downstairs?"  she asks fondly.

i look up at harry asking him silently what he wants to do.

"well come down, that alright with you boo?" he asks me, looking into my eyes with those bright green eyes that i love so much

i nod again

"okay, may wanna hurry though cus they wont be warm for long." she says, walking out the door and shutting the door behind her.

"come on then lou, we better get out of bed and go down to your mum" harry said, gently lifting my head and removing my body off of his.

"noooo, i wanna stay here with youuuu" i whine and give him my best puppy eyes.