I'm here for you

i love you mum

louis pov

when harry realised what id done. i felt dead. i felt alone. i thought he'd leave me. no he did something worse. he yelled for my parents. thats when i couldnt contain it anymore. i cried. and buried myself in my duvet and pillows. i head dad collapse amd cry. i feel so bad. ive never seen him cry. no even when i pulled his beard after watching merry christmas mr.bean. i yanked pretty hard too. i was stupid then, just like i am now.

mum figured it out. she realised ive cut myself. i heard harry run. i heard the french window under my room open and shut. all i could hear was everyone crying around me. "fuuuck what have i done???2 i yell into my pillow. i heard mum leave the rrom and i felt the matteress on my best go down. dad was on my bed with a fuck up of a mistake like me.

"louis?" he asks

"ye?" i mumble

"why? whats going on? cmon lets go to the bathroom and have a look and i'll see what we need to do okay? im not angry, or going to leave you. youve just made me sad that you felt the need to do this."

that makes me sob even more. i dont deserve the best dad in the entire universe

i got up and followed my dad into the bathroom, he gave me a hug nd whispered "we love you so so so much louis, dont ever forget that. you can tell us anything, we'll always love you no matter what okay?"

i nodded not trusting my voice. 

i held out both my arms only for him to carefully roll the sleeves up and then raise his eyebrows at me when he sae the log sleeved shirt, "do you want to do these ones?" he asked. i shook my head and said "no, you do it." he didnt say anything but extremely carefully lifted them up and i winced once as the shirt was stuck to the other fabric, glued together with blood. he let go of them and walked to the sink. he grabbed a facecloth and got it wet with warm water and squeezed the exess water out. then he came back and gently dabbed it on top on my sleeves. i was very confused why he was doing that. he must have thought that i was confused as he said"its to unstick them so i can get the sleeves off" i nodded in understanding.

eventually when it was wet enough, my sleeves went back to normal, and he rolled them up.

"holy shit louis" he exclaimed when he saw my arms. "that's pretty bad. what did you use?? a knife??" i think my face clouded over as he said after "its okay hey its okay." i gave him the tiniest of smiles ever to exist.

i heard the front door open and shut and i looked around, not like i could see who it was from upstairs. "hello anne" i heard. great, now my best friends mum will know. then it hit me. harry's mum was here, he must be pretty bad. i feel so bad. if i didnt do this then nothing would be wrong with haz and nobody would be upstet. 

"hey none of thats true. harrys worried about you, thats why anne is here, you were struggling to cope. thats not your fault. you can tell us anything okay?"

oops i didnt realise i said that outloud.

i smile.

dad takes the old tomatoey shirt of my arms and says "okay  we're gunna wrap this in a damp facecloth and take you to hospital just to check if theyre infected okay?"

(idk if thats how it works but it will now)

i just nodded. then i had an idea

"dad?"

"yeah"

"im gunna go and ask harry to come, i trust you and all but i really need him. please?"

he sighed. it looked like he was trying to decide what to do.

at last he spoke and said "okay, i'll go and ask him okay?"

i nodded and gave him an armless hug as i didnt want to get blood on his blue shirt.

as he goes downstairs i sit on the edge of the bath and just space out and think of how did i deserve such an amazing dad and family.

suddenly a voice spoke

"Louis?"