I'm here for you

coming out is scary

 THIS CHPTER IS BASICLY THE SAME AS THE LAST, SO SAME TRIGGER WARNINGS.

four days later

louis pov

my injuries qrent infected which is lucky, im now starting therepy/counselling to hopefully help with this, i feel a lot better now i dont have to hide anything, mum and dad have hidden all blades sharp enough to injure myself, my therepist is one so if i feel like i need to, i can call her and we'll talk. i love my family and am so so so so grateful for them. 

i l love my family, grandma is looking after lotts, dasiy phebes dotty and ernie whilst "im going throuh a rough patch". i love how they drop everything for me. i still feel so fucking bad about it all.

i might have a crush on harry. im too scared though. im going to come out to mum and da, but im just gunna casually ask what they think of gays. depending on their reaction i'll tell them. imma make dinner, just the three of us, harry's gunna be secretly on call with me, i'll have mt phone in my pocket of my jeans and i'll then tell them depending on what happens, then if it goes well, i'll tell them about harry, obviously ending the call because im not ready for him to know yet.

4 hours later

jays pov

"than you so much louis, this is amazing." i smile at my eldest who's looking so much better since that day. he seems almost happier, i think theres still something because he has a habit of biting his nails when he's nervous and he's doing that "louis? are you okay?"

he looks up quickly, in my opinion, too quickly.

"yeah yeah im fine, why wouldnt i be? im fine, obviously, obviously" (sorry i had to)

"is there anything you want to talk about?" i aks, he just shkes his head.

i sigh and just nod and say okay.

after were done ating he suddenly hugs me "i love you mum" he says. obviously i hug back" i love you too boo bear" "eeeeeeeeeeeew " a little voice says. its daisy. "groooss stop the mushy stuff, if you want mushy, go and eat some fookin avocadoes." louis starts laughing, and all i can do is open my mouth and close it again, when i finally find my voice "DAISY FREYA TOMLINSON!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM" she just rolls her eyes and walks out. "the sass, she's just like you louis, just like you" mark said. i shake my ead in disbelief. 

Later that night, the girls and Ernest are in bed and me mum and dad are watching some random show. I decide now would be a good time to tell them. I start fidgeting with my hands and I don't even realize until dad puts his hands on mine to stop me. 

"U u um I have something to tell you both" I stutter. I'm really nervous at this point. What if they disown me? What if they hate me? What if they're just like Simon? 

"What's that" mum asks

Dad pauses the tv to give me his full attention. 

" i... I.. I'm.... " at this point I have tears rolling down my face and I hide my face on the cushions on the sofa. 

"Gay" I mumble. 

"Sorry what was that? " dad asks

Now I cry even harder because either he didn't hear me or he hates me and wants it to all be a joke. 

"I'm gaaaaay" I yell whilst still sobbing. 

I feel the sofa around me move. I cry even harder now.