In your arms

May 19, 2023

Hi everyone! Tonight I will give you TWO chapters. Here the first one and thank you for reading. 

May 19, 2023

In the last month Carina and I have entered a routine that I could no longer do without. It is something that resembles being together, but it is also a routine that is too "slow" to be considered real girlfriends. We talk and write very often, several times a day; she is the first person I can think of to call if I need, but also if I want to share something nice. We have decided, because we have the need, that never more than four days should go by without seeing each other, so we also arrange meetings that seem like real dates: lunches, dinners, outings, picnics in the park, at the beach, an evening at the bowling alley. We approach and distance ourselves like a spring, sometimes we have deep talks, confide in each other, approach a more intimate and emotional aspect, others we let the conversation remain on a light and superficial level. Definitely what differentiates us from couples, in the common sense of the word, is that there is no explicit physical contact. There is a lot of physical contact, actually, because we also happened to hold hands, when we are at home we often end up cuddled on the couch, there are caresses and touches dictated by deep affection and also deep attraction, however, we do not sleep together. There has been nothing remotely sexual between us, not even a kiss. Although I crave it desperately, right now I am content with being able to be in her life filling this special role, because I wouldn't change the hours I spend with her for anything in the world.

Often our work shifts don't allow us to have meetings at canonical times, but we both have found that we really enjoy getting around the city, discovering new places or even just hanging out at the beach or park during the morning hours. This morning I went to her house, left the car there and we took the bikes. The idea was to just ride around, maybe go up some hills and then come home, but Carina said she would like to visit the Getty Museum, so here we are, among a few dozen tourists, dressed like two athletes who escaped from some Olympic village. I keep adjusting my shorts, pinning my hair back, and Carina laughs at me.

C < stop it, I don't understand what the problem is!>

M < that we look like two people who just made an escape from the Olympic village?> Carina makes a mischievous grimace that immediately makes me roll my eyes.

C < to me it looks like today's female athletes are dressed much better than this anyway..> and she says this while looking at my socks that in theory might be fashionable in practice make me feel damn out of place.

C < Maya..> Carina takes a step toward me and caresses my neck from my shoulders, barely squeezing the back of my neck. < there is no dress code and people are here for the paintings, not for us. Take it easy!> I snort, shaking my head, and she moves closer to my ear. < and then you look beautiful..> and before she pulls away from me she bites my earlobe. She approaches the ticket counter and I stand petrified in place awakening only to the idea that I absolutely must speed up if I want to pay for the entrances.

I stand beside her in the queue and swallow in distress.

C < so? The Olympics in which year?> she asks as if nothing had happened. I sigh, rolling my eyes.

M < two athletes stuck in a dystopian world moving directly from the 1984 Olympics. Better?> I ask, winking at her, and she laughs. I take advantage of her brief distraction to buy tickets and pay, even though I know this will mean arguing later.

Instead, Carina surprises me: she says nothing, doesn't complain as she usually would, but takes me under her arm and leads me through the halls of the museum. Among the exhibits we move as if it were our own personal choreography that by now we know by heart: we walk away, each looking for herself, then we find ourselves in front of some interesting painting, then we brush hands, then we get lost among the halls and maybe find each other again after a few minutes.