In your arms

August 28, 2023 - Maya's House, LA

Thank you everyone!

August 28, 2023 – Maya's House, LA

I open my eyes annoyed by the daylight, it seems, slamming into my face and a weight on my body. I try to move my head to escape the cone of light that seems to be aimed exactly at the center of my eyes and at the same time I try to get up.

Oh, God.

A very strong twinge runs through me from the tip of my hair to the tip of my big toe, and I feel as if a jolt of electricity is running through me. I throw my head back on the pillow emitting a grunt and snorting sonorously. My animalistic cries must have a magical effect, because while my eyes are still closed I magically feel the weight pressing down on my body lift and become lighter. I open my eyes to try to figure out what's going on: I took a painkiller, supposedly last night, I didn't think I'd have symptoms like I'd been drugged with acid when I woke up. In front of me, however, stands a vision so heavenly that I can almost hear angels singing and little stars circling her face.

C < hey..> a sleepy Carina pulls herself up by holding onto my elbow, and the hand she was holding on my stomach ends up stroking my face. < does it hurt?> she asks thoughtfully, but I don't know how to answer.

How did we end up here together?

I try desperately not to feel the pain I feel the moment I get up, grab my crutches, and try to chase Carina around the house: I don't want her to leave, I don't want it to be like this on the first night we spend in my house, officially, as a couple, especially I don't want to fight with her, ever.

Fortunately, I don't live in a luxurious mansion, so it's soon done meeting, when I find her in the kitchen rummaging through my cups. I lean against the doorframe and look at her: she seems pleased with her choice of one particular cup and, from the smoke, I'd guess she's pouring hot water into it.

M < Carina...?> I call to her and she turns around almost startled.

C < what are you doing here?> I raise an eyebrow.

M < do you think I was letting you leave?> I reply and she sighs, returning to her task so important before her.

C < I'm going to the sofa, if you want to wait for me there. You shouldn't strain your body like that..> "oh, really?" I think, but of course I don't say that. Rather silently I go and sit on the couch, releasing a shuddering breath, a little quivering with pain.

C < do you want some too?> Carina asks me, when moments later she is beside me.

M < what is it?> I ask in a low voice and she offers me some chamomile tea. I refuse and remain observing Carina who, balancing the hot cup in her hands, sits not far from me.

M < sorry..> I am the first to speak. < I didn't want to make any comparisons and I especially don't want to underestimate what you are feeling now...> Carina nods.

C < it was all too much.> she admits. < your question about Luke was just the straw that broke the camel's back...it's been all day, ever since you told me about the accident, that I've been agitated, that I have a thousand thoughts going around in my head, that I can't control...I know it's stupid..> I interrupt her, resting a hand on her leg.

M < there is nothing stupid about what you feel. It was the first time for both of us and we still have to maybe figure out how to move..> I suggest and she nods.

C < for example I know for a fact that I would like to be told right away, please..> I smile.

M < it will be done. I'm not used to having someone take care of me, you know..> Carina nods and then glances at me sidelong.