In your arms

September 23, 2023 - Annual Fire Stations Tournament

Thank you everyone!Have a nice weekend!

September 23, 2023 – Annual Fire Stations Tournament

This event has always been a cross and a delight for me. It stimulates my competitive spirit more than anything else, combining it with the love and passion I have for sports, whatever type they are. At the same time, however, competition for me has always been something that takes me back in my memory, to the days when I was a little girl, when my father used to spur me on to always be the best at everything, without looking anyone in the face, not even my brother, who never excelled in physical and sporting qualities. There wasn't a ball game, a run, a tennis match, not even a sack race, that didn't become an Olympic tournament, so my commitment, my concentration, my cunning and my naughtiness had to be on point. I soon realized that that mentality of my father's stuck with me, so much so that it became a bit of my own. My father would have liked to be in the military in life, but he was always angry at the world and at life, because he was excluded from every military category because of one centimeter, what he lacked in height to possess the proper physical requirements. He turned that anger into hatred, channeled it into the idea that he had to destroy everyone, at the slightest fault, at the slightest distraction: a living caterpillar, with no real goal in life anymore. He always said that he was reduced "like a failure" to selling guns and I always thought that his customers were basically nothing but desperate people worse off than he was. The only real goal he then managed to pursue for some time was to invest in me, trying to turn me into something that I still don't quite understand, but which was always characterized by the taste of victory, money and destruction. I had to excel to spit in the face of others, according to him.

There was a time during my growing up when I could no longer understand how much was authentic and genuine in me or how much was all the result of my father's choices. I would spend nights staring at the ceiling wondering if the love of sports, for example, was real, if it was a way to survive, if I should perhaps rebel. The only things that were always clear to me, basically, were that I didn't want to be like him and that, unlike him, I felt great respect for opponents, or for others in general. The other thing I realized, but it took me longer, was how violent my father's way of reasoning was, even toward me: he prevented me for a long time from feeling free to express an opinion, to form a thought, to say anything, anything, even stupid, as long as it was mine.

The injury I suffered in Canada, the one that took me away from Carina, was somehow what enlightened me, even though I always felt the price to pay was very high.

Entering into competition with the other Fire-Stations, then, awakens in me a dangerous sense of thirst: I want to win, I want to prove that I can do it all, that I excel, that I am the best. I demand that my colleagues spit blood and sweat, that they prove themselves, because that is the only way I know how to deal with a sports performance.

Over time the presence of Andy and Vic has helped me: they, especially the latter, have the power to make everything fun. They participate in this tournament just out of a desire to be there, to have a laugh, to meet colleagues you might not see for months... for them it is a social event, rather than a competition. And over time I have come to realize that this way of looking at it is also enjoyable after all.

Today, however, there is a new and sizzling excitement inside me: it is somehow my "social debut" as a happily engaged person. Accompanying the participants of this tournament, in fact, namely firefighters from the fire stations around Station 99, are family and friends. The participants are a total of about 150 people, plus all the accompanying persons it becomes a real event. Over time we have made this day a carefree time, where children, including those in the neighborhood, can have fun with us: there is food, there is drink, there is music. And then there is the tournament. The Battalion Chief holds the organization of the event, which is held between volleyball, softball, soccer and basketball competitions. The teams are mixed in gender, but strictly made up of members of one Station: shifts (A, B and C) can be mixed, and everyone is free to participate in as many sports as he or she wishes, the possibility of being "just" a cheerleader also existing.