San Lazarus Series #6: Onerous ✔

EPILOGUE

SECRET FILES

Hi, good day to all. I don't really know how to squeeze my thoughts into specific one, I'm not really used on telling others about my own side of story however I think this is my last shot of chance in able to reach where my woman is. She's an avid reader here, hey there wife! I hope this can reach you, so here it goes..

Year 2009, when I first met you. I was that typical badboy-playboy type na walang ibang ginawa kundi magbulakbol, mambabae, mag-inom at bumarkada and you were that 'masungit-suplada' type na ni hindi man lang ako magawang lingunin, ni isang beses ni hindi mo ko magawang tapunan ng tingin kahit pa madalas tayong magkasalubong sa kahit saang bahagi ng campus. Until second quarter of school year came and I was being transferred on another section dahil nakipagsuntukan ako sa kaklase ko, hindi ko alam noon na iyon pala ang mismong seksyon na kinabibilangan mo. I even confidently walked my way through the door, being the maangas one but immediately stop right on the tracked when my eyes landed on where you are, sa unahang row sa pinakadulo malapit sa bintana ka nakaupo. I can even remember how your beautiful hair sway when the wind blows exactly when you look on where I am. I can even vividly remember how your brows furrowed when you saw me, akala ko kilala mo ako pero umismid ka lang at bumalik sa pagtingin sa bintana. I had to proceed and took my seat, luckly it was the seat behind your back.

"Oyy naalala ko pala, kulang pa tayo ng member. Should I ask the new one? Since lahat naman kumpleto na, tayo na lang kulang." Suhestyon ng kaibigan mo sainyo pero wala kang emosyon.

Saglit mo kong tiningnan bago bumaling na sa pisara. "Ano namang maitutulong sa atin ng basagulerong babaero? Pasasakitin ang ulo natin? Spare me with another headache, we're fine." Iyon ang eksaktong mga katagang binitawan mo, since that day I was being challenge to prove myself on you, that I wasn't just that 'basagulerong babaero' that you think I am. I proved to you that I am better on what you think I am to the point that everyone was so shocked seeing me taking my studies seriously. Ewan ko pero na-challenge ako ng dahil sa mga salita mong iyon kaya pinagbutihan ko ng husto para ipamukha sa'yong mali ka. Natapos ang group work, lumabas ang score natin. I was on the court, tatambay lang sana ako pero naaya akong maglaro ng basketball. After I shoot the ball on the ring and land safely that's when I saw you, smiling from ear to ear and I swear I saw an angel approaching me from above. Napakaganda mong pagmasdan habang nakangiti at ipiniprisinta sa akin 'yong score na nakuha natin, nagpasalamat ka noon at inaya akong sumama sainyo mag-breaktime para mag-celebrate but I declined it. I just don't feel going eventhough it was you who's asking.

Two days after, I saw you walking all alone habang may dalang mga libro. Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pa, nilapitan kita at tinulungan. I saw your beautiful smile again, I guess you were just trying to be friendly. I tried to joke and point out how you judge me noong una tapos after naging friendly ka, pero mukhang nagkamali ako. Biro lamang iyon para sa akin pero mukhang iba ang dating sa'yo. Since then you started to ignore me, I felt like you were trying your best to distance yourself on me lalo na noong nagiging malapit na rin ako sa mga kaibigan mo. One time, during breaktime nahuli ako no'n kasi naglaro muna ako ng basketball then hinanap ko kayo. I was about to approach you all but I heard you saying, "Tigilan n'yo ko, hindi n'yo ba alam na mayaman s'ya? Maniniwala talaga kayong nakikipagkaibigan s'ya dahil gusto n'ya kayong maging kaibigan? Bored lang s'ya." Tuloy-tuloy na sabi mo kahit pa pinipigilan ka na ng mga kaibigan mo dahil nakita na nila akong nasa may likuran n'yo, lumingon ka ngunit wala pa ring emosyon na para bang wala kang pakealam kung narinig ko ang mga sinabi mo. I don't know what the right thing to do that moment so I just walked away, shrug what I heard. Way back then I'm not sure if you really mean all those judgement words you throw on me but now I know that you did that because you were afraid that I might just use you and eventually dump you.